What am I thankful for?

I was never really big on Thanksgiving - I never could think of anything to be thankful about. I always looked at everything I have as fruits of my own labor. I had nobody to thank for anything - I was fully deserving of everything I had. 

But over the last year, God has given me the grace to see things differently. Looking back, I now know that I haven't done anything to deserve many of the most important things in my life. To start with, there is my wife - her name means 'God is gracious', and I wish I had known that sooner. She came into my life when I had my head up in the clouds, but somehow she walked right along with me keeping her eyes on the ground all along. Most of our married life up to this point was like a road full of humps, but she absorbed most of the shocks to make my journey smoother. I don't know what I have done to deserve the one handsome boy and two beautiful girls we have. Their love is so pure and abundant, it makes me ashamed of my selfish, self-loving ways. How could I claim any credit in having a mom and dad like I do? They have always set aside their pleasure and comfort to raise my sister and me. What can I say about my sister? I don't think there is anything I would be able to do to reciprocate the love and concern she has for me.
 

They are only the tip of the iceberg of a long list of people in my life - good people I took for granted, used and abused. I don't think I ever thanked my aunt for bringing me to this country and providing for me while I was learning to live independent. I also have another aunt who fed me and cared for me while I was busy with studies all day and worked all night. How about my in-laws, how was I deserving of them? They never considered me as their son-in-law, but rather I became their older son. I don't think it is a co-incidence that my sister-in-law is almost a mirror image of my sister. I also could no longer complain about not having any brothers of my own - my wife's two brothers filled that void seamlessly. I must also mention my little cousin who besides being a school teacher, also became pivotal in getting me the help I needed when I needed it. Like I said, the list just keeps on going, and I hope and pray that it would never end. 

How could I ever thank God for putting up with me all those years when I went around as if the whole universe is centered on me. I always felt Him pulling me towards Him, but I resisted it with all my will. In His infinite mercy and love, He never let go off me. I still don't know why He insisted on having me on His side. I must admit that there is nothing in me that is special - I don't know much about anything, I am terrible in front of a crowd, and my writing is at best below average. In return for His love, all I could give are my sins and my pride - my only consolation is that I am giving Him things that He doesn't have any of.

All these years, I couldn't celebrate Thanksgiving because I was not happy. I was not satisfied with what I had - I wanted more and more. On this Thanksgiving, I know that I have something a lot of others crave - I am surrounded with love. The irony is that this love was always there in my life, I just never could open myself up to feel it and find satisfaction in it. So I thank God for giving me the grace to experience His love through the people He has placed in my life. I also dare to ask Him for granting me the ability to love Him by loving those around me. 

Happy Thanksgiving everybody. May God give good things of this life abundantly to each and everyone of you. 

Thank you, Father, for having created us and given us to each other in the human family. Thank you for being with us in all our joys and sorrows, for your comfort in our sadness, your companionship in our loneliness. Thank you for yesterday, today, tomorrow and for the whole of our lives. Thank you for family, for friends, for health and for grace. May we live this and every day conscious of all that has been given to us.

 From The Catholic Prayer Book, compiled by Msgr. Michael Buckley.