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I can't remember the last time somebody criticized me for something I did! Growing up, people considered me as the creme of the crop. Mothers of rogue little ones used me as a measuring stick to spank the bottoms of little rascals they were bringing up. Though I never asked to be the poster boy for Goody two-shoes, I never objected it either. And to my credit, I have always tried my best to keep up with my image. I must say that I almost succeeded in convincing everybody that I am not too far off from being immaculate. The problem was that I was anything but the perception of what I was. I too did everything just like everybody else of my age - watched movies inappropriate for a kid, tried smoking as a teenager, tasted Johnny Walker as a young adult, all the while staring at girls. Unlike many of my poor friends who got branded with bad reputation, I did it when no one was looking. You see, I had a reputation to keep up with, the other guys didn't. I did it smartly, the others were careless. 

One of the problems with 'trying to be somebody you are not' or 'trying to appear to be somebody better than you actually are' is the enormous pressure it comes with. It is like walking around with a blinking light on the top of your head, you are constantly being reminded that you are the object of attention. Everybody from the barber who cuts your hair to your kindergarten teacher takes pride in knowing you, for having an acquaintance with you. On one hand you are being elevated by the cause of joy for many, but on the other hand you are being stampeded by the guilt of deception and fear of getting caught. 

To hide is human. The problem is humans also like to put on a show. From a seventy year old retiree who dyes his hair to hide gray to a twenty something executive who chews on mint to cover up alcoholic breath, we all like to put on a show of our good side. We chase perfection not because we love it, but because we are playing 'keeping up with Joneses'. We want to fit into the utopian society, knowing fully well that the society is made up of individuals just like us - dirty on the inside, clean outside. We are husbands and wives who constantly fight behind closed doors, but participates in and wins Best Couples competition. We are parents who spend entire day lecturing kids about putting on good behavior at the dinner table just for one night only because we have guests. We are good citizens who watch porn at the privacy of our homes and speaks passionately against abuse of women and children on open stage. We nod our head in agreement when we hear Jesus sharply criticizing the Pharisees without ever realizing that He called us "white washed graves" - dirty inside, clean outside. 

So what am I supposed to do, live like an open notebook and let everybody make fun of me? That takes a lot of guts, but I am not that courageous. I believe the the best solution is Confession - that's right, tell the priest. Here's why: In the Book of Genesis, it clearly says that man and woman were naked after creation (Genesis 2:25). On the top of the surface, this is unwanted information unless you are planning to make a NC-17 rated bible movie. But for our purpose here, this information is a useful tool to compare the immediate action of Adam and Eve upon committing the original sin: "Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made loincloths for themselves" (Genesis 3:7). Adam and Eve committed a sin and their eyes were opened, the immediate reaction was to cover up. The nakedness wasn't just physical, it was also spiritual. This is what happens to us also - the Holy Spirit that dwells in us opens our eyes every time we do something against the will of God. This is not supposed to be a negative thing, it is our Creator's way of telling us to turn away from those actions. What we do is that every time God opens our eyes to see our transgressions, we put a cover over it. The old saying goes, "you can put lipstick on a pig, but it is still a pig". We can cover up our sins to preserve the image of the poster child, but that doesn't get us anywhere with God, "For the Lord explore the mind and test the heart, Giving to all according to their ways, according to the fruit of their deeds" (Jeremiah 17:10). 

The beauty about Catholic confession to a priest is that we are confessing our transgressions to two people at the same time - the priest is the representative of God on earth, and he is also our neighbor. Through confession, even if it is confessing the same sin over and over again, we are exposing ourselves to God in the heavens and also to our neighbor here on earth. In doing so, we are allowing God's grace to work with in us. It strengthens us to withstand temptations, and to recover from addictions. Soon there will be nothing to hide, and we will be able to open our lives to others and let them see hearts filled with saving grace of Lord our God. 

                 "For thus says the high and lofty One,

                       the One who dwells forever, whose name is holy:

                  I dwell in a high and holy place,

                       but also with the contrite and lowly of the spirit,

                  To revive the spirit of the lowly,

                       to revive the heart of the crushed.

                  For I will not accuse forever,

                       nor always be angry;

                  For without me their spirit fails,

                       the life breath that I have given." (Isaiah 57:15,16)