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| The Crucifixion of St. Peter Caravaggio, 1600 AD |
Over the last year, I was blessed enough to meet many people whose faith is incomprehensible to me. I know a doctor who who uses his office to hold Bible studies in the evenings. I know an unemployed man who spends all day making rosaries to raise money for the needy. Then there are a lot of people in between these two - people who are willing to do anything without any regard of the consequences, in the love of Christ Jesus. I don't think any of them have benefitted significantly for doing what they do. If anything, their lives are filled with sacrifices - both personal and financial. But somehow they were able to stay in their faith and grow in their faith. I often thank God for placing me in the company of people with strong faith, because I have a tendency to be proud about my achievements - whether it be faith, health or wealth. But a glimpse of these people is more than enough to me bring me back on to earth and fills me with the reality that my faith is anything but solid.
Perhaps I am being too harsh on myself. Don't we all deny our faith at some point or other when it is convenient and comfortable? Don't we tend to put God to the side when it is wise to do so? Don't we keep our beliefs hidden in order to be popular or to look normal?
Google analysis about my blog tells me that I have readers in countries like China and Ukraine. I am not too sure about Ukraine, but I must commend those who read Catholic faith based blogs in China. I don't think it is easy being a catholic in China. But how about us, most of us live in countries where religious freedom is protected by law. Ever imagined how any of us would respond to our faith if things turn around overnight? What if the country that you live in make Catholicism unconstitutional? I wonder how many of us would dare to come out of our houses on Sunday morning. How many of us would leave the comfort and security of our homes, and the love and care of our families in the name of Christ Crucified? I know I wouldn't. I feel ashamed for saying this, but the truth is that I am a selfish man - I care too much about myself. Aside from my wife and kids, I can't think of anybody else I wouldn't sacrifice for my own life and for my freedom.
I am a believer because the atmosphere is favorable. There are perks involved in me being a believer - people tend to give me a break about my past life, I am more easily accepted and loved, I get invited to talk about faith, and I am being offered positions in groups and committees. Of the original twelve Apostles of Jesus Christ, ten suffered death in the hands of people who disliked their faith. St. Peter asked that he be crucified in an inverted position so as not to imitate the crucifixion of Jesus Christ - he felt unworthy to die the same way God did. Emperor Nero used to use christians as human torches in his garden at nights. During the six decades following 1820, more than 150,000 people were killed in Vietnam for their faith in Christ. Using my brain (which is no more than a peanut in size), I can't fathom why. What is it that compelled these people to give up their life? Why didn't they fell to the feet of the executioner and begged for pardon, and say things like they were brain washed, or they converted to Catholicism just for the perks - ample supply of maize and milk powder? If faith - knowledge Jesus Christ as the Lord, the Savior and the Redeemer - gave them the courage to stand firm in the face of persecution, then I must confess that I have none of it!
"For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that he may grant you in accord with the riches of his glory to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in the inner self, and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the holy ones what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to accomplish far more than all we ask or imagine, by the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen." (Ephesians 3:14-21)
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