God is With Us: But, Are We Listening?

Looking at the insurmountable pain and sufferings that weighs down humanity all over the world, sometimes it is hard to understand that He is Emmanuel- God is with us. For a long time in my life I was a believer of the indifferent god - the one who merely watches everything from the sidelines. If God is with us here, then why can't he say something when I am in trouble, in pain, in despair? I read Diane McKelva's post Fear Not: Angels We have Heard on High about how a mysterious woman warned her about what lies ahead and how to react to it. I also thought about a similar experience my father had while he was going through cancer treatment, and though those mysterious voices didn't immediately solve their problems, it did help them persevere and eventually succeed. 

The God of All Things

Earlier during the week, I read a comment made by a grieving mother in response to an article published in CatholicStand.com about God's plan. The author was trying to make a point that though God doesn't always give us what we want, He will always give us what we need. The person who made the comment couldn't understand how this idea of God's providence fit into the immense suffering and death of a child. She wanted her child, but God thought that her needs are better served by voiding her motherhood! In the past, I had made several attempts to delve into this problem of unanswered prayers - I am a firm believer that there are no unanswered prayers. But then, how would you explain the agony of this mother, how is it that her prayers for her sick child are ever going to be answered?

Finding Humility

Humble is a word used a lot recently when people talk about Pope Francis. People would mention something that he has done and would use it as a proof that the new pope is a very humble man. But this idea of humility varies significantly from the commonly held assumptions about being humble. Normally speaking, being humble is not different from having very little opinion about oneself. So somebody who would agree with almost anything without ever wanting to make their voice heard, or somebody who choose to play the role of the inferior in order to please others would be considered as humble. Anybody who stands their ground or insists on their opinions be heard is considered not so humble, even arrogant. 

Who is Jane Roe?

Over the last few weeks, I had an opportunity to read a lot (but probably not enough) about the U.S. Supreme court's landmark decision regarding the issue of abortion. By voting in favor of Jane Roe versus the defendant Henry Wade, the Court extended the due process clause of the 14th amendment to give women right to have privacy while considering abortion. The defendant Henry Wade was the Dallas county district attorney at the time. Jane Roe was the pseudonym used to protect the identity of the plaintiff in this case. While writing my last post, Heal me Lord with your Word, I got curious about the identity of Jane Roe, and did some digging since. I must admit that the description of Jane Roe leading up to the Supreme Court's decision might seem harsh, even judgmental. But her story in its entirety must be told in order for us to understand  the God of Joseph, a God who could take any evil and turn it into good for the salvation of many. 

The Curious Case of Lance Armstrong - Part 2

In today's world, more than ever, people go hungry. There is a shortage of truthfulness in societies all over the world regardless of their physical abundance or lack of it. Appearance and illusion has taken over us; there is no longer any substance to anything, reality has become a relative term. The problem with illusion is that it exists only on the surface - anybody who bothers to dig into it will be faced with this enormous emptiness. But human beings cannot thrive in emptiness because we are meant to share the fullness of God in Christ (cf. Colossians 2:9). Therefore, the humanity today is poor: we desperately seek the truth and authenticity without even realizing it.

Planned Parenthood touts over aborting over 333,000 babies in 2011

Planned Parenthood Federation of America's latest annual report for 2011-2012 says that its affiliated clinics performed 333,964 abortions in fiscal 2011.

That works out to an average of one abortion every 94 seconds.

The 333,964 abortion Planned Parenthood did in fiscal 2011 is an increase of 4,519 from the 329,445 abortions it did in 2010, according to a fact sheet that Planned Parenthood published last year.

Over two years, Planned Parenthood says, it has aborted 663,409.

The 2011-2012 report states that Planned Parenthood received $542.4 million in “government health services grants and reimbursements,” which it states includes “payments from Medicaid managed care plans.”

The report also shows that Planned Parenthood’s total assets top $1 billion dollars, specifically $1,244.7 billion.

“We are so proud of the year’s many successes, and deeply grateful for all the partners, sponsors, volunteers, staff and friends who helped make them possible,” states the report's introductory letter, signed by PPFA president Cecile Richards and Cecelia Boone, chairwoman of the organization.

The Fear of Losing

King Herod could be a perfect icon for fear. It would be an understatement to say that he ruled Israel and Judea with an iron fist - an iron heart would be more appropriate. If you look for the cause for him to spread fear among everybody associated, the reasoning will bring you back to where you started - fear. In fear Herod kept everybody under fear to maintain his power and possessions, and to achieve more. This fear compelled him to murder one of his wives, one brother, several brother-in-laws, and three of his sons. This fear also enabled him to command his soldiers to slaughter all kids two years and younger in and around Bethlehem. The Church today remembers those innocent lives lost as the Feast of the Holy Innocents - the first martyrs in the name of Christ. 

The way HE looks at us

So here is a fantasy with some reality mixed in: Let's say God sits in front of a giant screen all day. On that screen, everything everybody thinks and does appears instantly. HE watches everything, nothing is hidden. Now comes the fantasy part - you won some reality show on TV, and as the winner you get to spend an entire day with God. You will be sitting next to Him, drinking Kool-aid and watching the world. It will be a chance to look at people like God does, "to explore the mind and test the heart" (Jeremiah 17:10a).

There will be blood

A school, especially an elementary school, would easily be considered as a safe haven for kids. It is an essential place in the development of any kid - a place where we learn to adapt to our life, with the help of grown ups. A classroom is also a place where kids naturally feel  safe. A nation is in pain and the world shocked upon hearing about a coldblooded killer who trespassed into the safety zone of kids only to shoot them point blank one after the other. We are outraged about the senselessness and insanity associated with the incident. We can feel our stomach churn while looking at the pictures of the innocent lives that were taken away for no apparent reasons. Without taking anything away from the pain and sufferings of that community, I must ask, "Are we truly upset and outraged about the murder of the most defenseless of our citizens in a place where they should be most protected?"

Self-centered Faith

Non-believers and nominal believers dread an encounter with a "born again" believer - somebody who had a profound religious experience after spending much of their life as an agnostic or atheist. It would seem like many such "born agains" have gone off the deep end, expressing loudly their disapproval for everything from movies and television to other religious beliefs and lifestyles. Talking to them would give you the feeling that God has empowered them to argue on His behalf. Often, by weighing in on everything without proper knowledge, they often appear intolerant and self-righteous. They want to believe in God more than everybody and practice religion better than everybody, then they want everybody - spouses, kids, relatives, coworkers - to follow them in those practices.  

What everyone should know about pornography (An article by Matt Fradd)

Matt Fradd is an apologist and speaker with Catholic Answers, one of the largest lay-run apostolates of Catholic apologetics and evangelization in North America. After experiencing a profound conversion from agnosticism to Catholicism at World Youth Day in Rome in 2000, Matt has committed himself to inviting others to know Jesus Christ and the Church he founded.

I was around eight years old when I stumbled upon pornography for the first time. I was hooked. I was in intrigued. As my fascination with pornography grew, so did my defensiveness. I knew deep down that this behavior was not masculine. But the strong urge to view pornography outweighed any desire to face up to that. “She’s willing to do it!” I would say – mostly to myself. “It’s not like I’m raping anybody!” “It’s fine. It’s fine.” No one had told me that there might be a problem with porn. In fact, most adults I knew seemed to look favorably upon it. “Everything in moderation” they used to say, erg – what an extremely unhelpful – and fallacious- thing to say.

With time, grace, and support I have begun to heal from those wounds I so willingly inflicted upon myself. Ah, how much more expansive and vibrant life is now in comparison with that narrow little world in which I once chose to live.

In this article I will offer three truths about porn that I wish everyone knew. Narrowing it to three is difficult when I could write a hundred!  But these three are the most important ones I want you to know.

1. Porn is not bad because “sex is bad.”

Sex isn’t bad, and the body isn’t shameful! Porn is wrong because sex is good, and the body magnificent! As Christians we must never forget whose idea sex was in the first place. It was not thought up by Hugh Hefner or Cosmopolitan magazine but by God! In fact, the very first commandment in the Bible from God to humanity is to “be fruitful and multiply” (Gen 1:28)! And as philosopher Dr. Peter Kreeft once noted, “I do not think he meant for us to grow oranges and invent calculators.”

Porn is wrong because it removes sexual intimacy from its natural context, turning it into a commodity to be bought and sold. It has been rightly said that the problem with porn is not that it shows too much but that it shows too little – too little of the human person. Porn reduces the mystery and beauty of a man or woman to a collection of body parts to be used rather than recognizing them as persons to be loved. It reduces the great mystery and sanctity of human sexuality to a trivial activity that need not be of any real importance.

2. Porn is not just a man’s issue.

While it is certainly true that men have cornered the market on visual pornography, it’s not true that women don’t also struggle. One survey revealed that 34% of female subscribers of Today’s Christian Woman’s online newsletter admitted to intentionally accessing Internet porn. Because pornography is predominantly consumed by men, many women who struggle with pornography feel an even greater sense of shame and isolation.

One young woman I know put it this way:

“For over seven years, I was addicted to hardcore pornography, masturbation, and lust—and I am a woman. Often we hear that women may struggle with fantasy and romance novels, but porn—porn is a guy thing. One of the most shaming statements I ever heard was, ‘Women just don’t have this problem.’ I started to lose hope after I heard that. How do you argue with the ‘fact’ that only men struggle with porn? It is sad, because this mindset is causing so much damage to women. It causes many women to question their sexuality and wonder if they are homosexual because they are involved in a sin ‘only men’ get caught up in. It isolates them, silences them, keeps them trapped in this sin and drives them further away from freedom and into the darkness.”

If you or a woman you know struggles with pornography, be assured that you are not alone. Help is available, and healing is possible. You might begin by visiting the site Beggars Daughter.

3. “Porn Stars” don’t enjoy what they do!

When I inquired of a friend of mine, a former porn star, if this was the case, she said, “Well, there are several reasons why girls get into the porn industry, but a hardcore sex drive isn’t one of them. I know, because that’s what I used to tell people in interviews.”

Another former porn star put it this way:

“Sex-packed porn films featuring freshly dyed blondes whose evocative eyes say ‘I want you’ is quite possibly one of the greatest deceptions of all time. Trust me, I know. I did it all the time, and I did it for the lust of power and the love of money. I never liked sex. I never wanted sex, and in fact I was more apt to spend time with Jack Daniels than some of the studs I was paid to fake it with. That's right – none of us freshly dyed blondes like doing porn. In fact, we hate it. We hate being touched by strangers who care nothing about us.... Some women hate it so much you can hear them vomiting in the bathroom between scenes. Others can be found outside smoking an endless chain of Marlboro Lights… but the porn industry wants YOU to think we porn actresses love sex. They want you to think we enjoy being degraded by all kinds of repulsive acts.”

Porn “immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world” (CCC 2354). One such illusion is that the women in the porn industry enjoy making porn. While this may be a convenient illusion for those seeking to justify their porn use, the reality behind the fantasy is another story entirely.

The fourth thing I would say (yes, yes, I know I promised only three) is that if you or someone you love is hooked on porn, healing is possible - it's bloody hard and there are no "quick fixes" but we can do all things through him who strengthens us (Phil 4:13).  

Are you Finally Ready to be Free?

Are you finally ready to face your porn problem head on? Are you ready to do what is necessary to change, grow, and heal?

It is crucial to understand that freedom from impurity is not a destination that we reach -you wont wake up several months from now, throw your arms up in victory and announce ”I’m free!” Rather, freedom from impurity is a daily choice we make, by God’s grace, which will enable us to become more fully alive (aka more Holy).

That said, the following steps are crucial and, in my humble opinion, indispensable to anyone who is serious about overcoming their porn problem.

FIND A GOOD CONFESSOR – DON’T PRIEST HOP 

If you are a Catholic, find a good confessor and stick to him. Don’t priest hop because you’re ashamed of confessing the sin again so soon. The priest is not their to judge you but to love you. Confessing to the same priest will be an opportunity to humble yourself while honestly facing the severity of your problem.

BECOME ACCOUNTABLE 

Download Covenant Eyes, the best accountability software on the web. After subscribing, type in the email of an (1 or more) accountability partner(s) you trust. If you go to a sketchy site, your accountability partner(s) gets a report alerting him to the site you visited. As a result, you get to have a slightly awkward but very helpful conversation with someone who cares for you. It’s about 8 bucks a month.

type “pureinheart” into the promo code, you’ll get a month free.

COUNSELLING 

3rd Know that you might need professional counselling and that there is nothing shameful about wanting to be a full man/woman of God. Seewww.integrityrestored.com to contact my friend Dr. Peter Kleponis. He is a Catholic psychotherapist who specializes in dealing with overcoming porn addiction – he can do appointments by Skype.

EDUCATE YOURSELF

Educate yourself on the dangers of pornography. I highly recommend reading this article  written by Neurosurgeon Dr. Donald L. Hilton on how porn addiction damages your brain (literally). We also have some great resources here Catholic Answers such as Jason Evert’s Pure in Heart, a 5 CD retreat for men struggling with porn. You can see my products over on the right there which I believe will be of great help.

If you are a woman struggling with porn, be sure to visit www.beggarsdaughter.com

PATIENCE

Have patience with yourself. God’s mercy is unlimited. St. Francis de Sales wrote  that you should “Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them – every day begin the task anew.”

There is much more that could be said, but I hope I’ve given you some practical leads which will be of great help to you as you strive to live porn free.

What I Learned #2

I’ve learned-
that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

What I Learned? #1

I’ve learned-

that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved.