Self-centered Faith

Non-believers and nominal believers dread an encounter with a "born again" believer - somebody who had a profound religious experience after spending much of their life as an agnostic or atheist. It would seem like many such "born agains" have gone off the deep end, expressing loudly their disapproval for everything from movies and television to other religious beliefs and lifestyles. Talking to them would give you the feeling that God has empowered them to argue on His behalf. Often, by weighing in on everything without proper knowledge, they often appear intolerant and self-righteous. They want to believe in God more than everybody and practice religion better than everybody, then they want everybody - spouses, kids, relatives, coworkers - to follow them in those practices.  


My responsibility towards other people's faith was an area of confusion for me while going through the experience of becoming a believer again. I felt the urge to walk up to everybody  and tell them, "Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the stalwart one who takes refuge in him" (Psalm 34:9(8)). I felt angry that they were missing out on the wonderful experience of God's love, I had to try hard to control my rage when I saw people falling asleep during prayers and Mass, and I felt sad for not being able to help others properly to experience the presence of Divinity. I was grateful to God for saving me - for showing me the way, but I didn't know what to do with all the others around me who are lost. And St. Peter saved me when he asked what I have been too scared to ask: "' Lord, what about him?' Jesus said to him, '...What concern is it of yours? You follow me'" (John 21:21, 22). In other words, look after your own soul and work for your salvation first. If God has called me to follow Him, then I need to follow Him without being too concerned about others.

The argument against interpreting Jesus' words that way is that it is too selfish, and God would never ask us to be selfish. But I am talking about spirituality here, not material wealth. Physical wealth can be distributed among those who need it, refusing to share it is being selfish. When I give from my abundance of physical wealth, the other person's deficiencies are reduced.  But how do I share my spiritual wealth with those who need it? I could tell them about my experience, but how do I share it with them? Think of a person who never tasted anything sweet, how do I explain to him how sugar tastes? What a saved person needs to realize is that there is still a lot of work that needs to be done with himself.   In spiritual life, there is no stand-still; you are either going forward or backward. If you worry about other people's spiritual condition, it is a sign of you going backwards in your own spirituality. Why? Because in doing so, you are forgetting where spirituality and salvation comes from - it is a grace, a gift of God. Every person's spiritual matter is between them and God, it is not yours to worry about. You could show love and compassion to others when you encounter somebody who is lost, you could even tell them where to turn to experience the awesome Goodness, but you can't compel anybody to change their ways. If you try, they will ignore you as if you are a religious fanatic. 

When I try to force feed my newfound religious experience and morality on others, what I am NOT doing is committing myself to the messages of the gospel. I am not allowing myself to be humble, sensitive, loving, forgiving, or understanding when I put too much emphasis on other's spiritual state. I am being judgmental, overbearing, self-righteous, opinionated, insensitive and harsh - that is not following Christ. 

Confused? Worried about not following Jesus' words of spreading the gospel when you choose to show love and compassion to a sinner rather than preaching to him about the Savior? Here's what St. Francis of Assisi had to say about it: "It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching." It is the walk that counts, not the words. Do not get stuck on the idea of changing others regardless of what it takes, you are doing it because you want to feel good about it or you believe you ought to do it. What we often fail to recognize when we try to correct other people's ways is that our ulterior motive could be far off from doing good to others - it could be subtle egotism of seeing ourselves as morally and spiritually superior. So our motive needs a lot of purification through humility, sacrifice and prayer, it is not a quick process - it is the work of a lifetime. God's love gets people to change their ways, and that's what I need to do - let others experience His love through my actions, through my life. Thomas à Kempis in 'The Imitation of Christ', one the best known Devotion books writes, "Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be".

"Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, rooted and grounded in love, may have the strength to comprehend with all holy ones what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." (Ephesians 3:17-19)