And that's fair, really???

God is not fair. Though many of you might find this statement blunt and offensive, I don't know how could anyone not see it in His actions. Look at Jacob, son of Isaac in the Book of Genesis, the schemer who cheated his brother Esau out of a rightful inheritance and deceived his father though impersonation. Instead of punishing him for the bad deeds and deception, God chose to bless him. We see this unfairness in God's action in our daily life. We see it when the innocent suffer while the oppressors flourish. We see it in the eyes of children dying of hunger in many countries while the rulers throw up of overindulgence. We see it in God-fearing devotees suffering with unceasing afflictions and miseries while evildoers live a healthy life of luxury. We see it in the puzzled looks of a faithful human being when their prayers go unanswered while God abundantly bless somebody who has no faith in Him. If none of this is unfair, what do you call it then?

Questions about an unfair god troubled me, not because I was amongst those who felt rejected in my petitions, but because I felt like an unworthy receiver of many graces He bestowed on me. I got this feeling that God is blessing me with things I need even before I realize that I would need it. Then I also saw many people who are desperately seeking God's help not receiving it in many of their intentions, people who are in dire need of God's grace than I was. As a man of little faith, a heart filled with evil and a manipulative mind, I was perplexed to be at the receiving end of the Lord's blessings.

God's grace seems like an unfair thing when we judge it as an earthly phenomenon; for us fairness is judgement of actions according to rules and standards, it is the expectation of being rewarded for one's actions in comparison with others. This is what we expect from our family and friends, peers and superiors, we demand it from our subordinates, and we consider it our right from the government. When we are part of a family or community, we feel that we are owed certain privileges by them for being part of that group, for abiding by the rules and regulations set forth by it. 

We feel the same way in our relationship with God, we expect certain privileges for being one among His subjects. We feel that we have a right to be heard and that God has an obligation to come to our aid in our troubles and distress. We had to put some effort and time to pray, read Bible and attend church, we sacrificed our comfort by fasting, observing lent and abstinence, we tried to be good neighbors by donating to charity. So how could it be a wrong thing to expect to get rewarded for all these? 

Though hard to comprehend, the fact of the matter is that God does not owe us anything. We all have our reasons for our existence; there is only one reason for our Creator for our existence, it is to glorify Him. We all fail in our purpose when we sin, are selfish, and act ungrateful. We are not doing anything special when we pray, offer sacrifices or by being kind. Those are only a few things we are supposed to be doing anyway. We don't do enough to glorify God, we do plenty to glorify ourselves. In fact, Jesus taught us that God doesn't have to give us anything even when we do everything we are supposed to be doing, "Is he grateful to that servant because he did what was commanded? So should it be with you. When you have done all you have been commanded, say, 'We are unprofitable servants; we have done what we were obliged to do'"(Luke 17:9,10). That's exactly we are, servants, whether we like it or not. There is no use in murmuring about how deserving we are and how we are being ignored. He will come through with His purpose for our lives in due time, as long as we do what we are told to do. 

It must also be remembered that if we prefer a god is who is totally fair in judgement, then we are asking for a god without compassion, one who rewards us for our good deeds, but also punishes us for all our errors and disobedience. Try to imagine a god with gift certificates in one hand and a sword in the other, one who hands out rewards and punishments every living moment in our lives. I can't help but wonder how many of us would last long enough to reach our hands for even a single gift certificate. It is not a cynical point of view to think that we are all sinners, it is not a theory or figurative speech; we err knowingly and unknowingly, we sin willingly and unwillingly. We might be able to come up with excuses for many of our transgressions, but a fair judge do not have to listen to any of it for he has a total lack of concern for the outcome of his judgement, fairness does not equate to love and mercy. God our Creator could never be a fair judge because He loves us,  "As I live, says the Lord GOD, I swear I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked man, but rather in the wicked man's conversion, that he may live. Turn, turn from your evil ways! Why should you die, O house of Israel?" (Ezekiel 33:11). 

God looks at us like nobody else can ever do, not even ourselves. He looks right through our bodies disfigured with warts and hearts marred with evil; He looks to see the human beings He made in his own image and in his own likeness. To Him, we are not murderers, thieves or prostitutes; for Him, we are His beloved creation, creation He found good. So He looks through our transgressions and sees the innocence, no matter how little, lying somewhere deep in our souls. He is hoping that His grace would enable the innocence to ignite and light up our souls. 

When God say, "I who show favor to whom I will, I who show mercy to whom I will" (Exodus 33:19), I like it, it gives me a chance to be in His grace. It presents me with an opportunity for salvation. I am a sinner, I err many times everyday, I sin even when I pray by being too selfish. I would never be able to get away from the wrath a fair god. I want my God to be unfair, I am glad that He is not fair, I just want him to be merciful.  AND THAT IS FAIR, REALLY!!!