Free will: What's the point?

Here is something that has been on my mind for sometime: It is written that God has created us with free will, the ability to choose. In order for us to choose, we are also equipped with the ability to think. But the Holy Spirit through St. Paul says, "For by grace you have been saved through faith" (Ephesians 2:8). So as a Christian with an ultimate goal of  salvation of my soul, I need to have faith. "Faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen" (Hebrews 11:1). Clearly, faith doesn't require a whole lot of thinking and there is definitely not a whole lot you could choose from. That is, when I believe that there is a God and this God could save me with His grace, I am believing in someone I cannot see and also believing in something that cannot be proven. It is all good and well, unless I choose to use my ability to think because the whole thing lack a logical explanation as salvation require no human effort. So here is the problem - what good is the ability to think and a free will to choose, if my only path to salvation is a complete trust in God and His ways, I am not left with a much to think about or to choose from, am I?

There used to be a time in my life when a question like this would have been more than enough to keep me away from God. Fortunately with the grace of God, I have overcome that problem. Nowadays I don't doubt my faith, instead I try to understand it; I seek my answers with reverence, and from my limited experience, I know that the answer would be given to me if it is something I should know about. Anyway, what I am trying to say is that the answer for this puzzle came to me today out of the blue, while I wasn't even thinking about it, all I had to do was write it down. 

When God  gave Moses the Ten Commandments, He wanted the people to base their ability to choose on those commandments. The Commandments didn't prevent sins from happening, but it gave the Israelites an awareness, the ability to judge one's own actions to be right or wrong. Thus Israelites were given a shot at salvation by exercising their ability to think, and using their freewill they could choose not to sin. If we look at the ability to think and free will to choose from this angle, it is actually not a bad thing to have after all. 

The only problem was that by the time Moses died, the Israelites had interpreted this ten commandments into over 600 laws, and at the time of Jesus' birth, these laws were over 6,200 pages long. Imagine the burden this put on the life of Israelites trying to make a rational decision on matters of day to day life. St. Paul quoted Deuteronomy 27:26 to fully explain the dilemma, "For all who depend on works of the law are under a curse; for it is written, 'Cursed be everyone who does not persevere in doing all the things written in the book of the law'" (Galatians 3:10). If you choose to follow the Law in order to be saved instead of "grace through faith", then you are bound by the law and "For whoever keeps the whole law, but falls short in one particular, has become guilty in respect to all of it" (James 2:10). 

When we think about free will, we automatically think about the ability to choose one or the other, often one is good and other is evil or one is right and other is wrong. Now most us, while exercising this option to choose, do not purposely choose what is evil or what is wrong. However, we tend to make mistakes while exercising our free will - our err in choosing often causes us to do the wrong thing or the evil thing, to sin. In other words, "The commandment that was for life turned out to be death for me. For sin, seizing an opportunity in the commandment, deceived me and through it put me to death" 
(Roma 7:10,11).

Grace of God is offered to humanity through the spilled blood of Jesus Christ on a cross. For those who have faith to believe that Jesus Christ is the only Son of God and accept Him as the Savior, the grace of God is a free gift. Sins are forgiven upon repentance and confession because Jesus Christ paid the price for our sins with His blood, "He himself bore our sins in his body upon the cross, so that, free from sin, we might live for righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed" (1 Peter 2:24). No such protection is offered to those who choose to live by the Law - if you break a law, be prepared to face the consequences. Thus we have a choice to exercise our free will, not just between good and evil, but also between good and good. 

"Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect" (Romans 12:2)

Whitewashed Tombs

The brother asked a monk, "the Apostle said 'To the pure everything is pure'(Titus 1:15), but how can I deem myself less than a murderer?" The monk said, "When a man has really comprehend this saying, if he sees a man committing a murder he says 'he has only committed this one sin that I know of, but I know myself that I commit many sins every day." (From the sayings of the Desert Fathers) 

All of the descriptions in the gospels about Jesus gives us the picture a leader who is humble and caring, but to much of everybody's dislike He was/is brutally honest too. He openly challenged the scribes and the Pharisees, men who had the power to condemn Him to death. Jesus couldn't stand hypocrisy, the double life that these men were living - while they appeared to be model Jews on the outside, their inside was filled with malice, wickedness and selfishness. They appeared to be noble and model citizens while indulging in impure and indecent desires. 

One of the biggest challenges facing Christians in todays world is hypocrisy. It is quite possible to appear perfectly Christian on the outside – going to Mass, avoiding drunkenness and obviously lewd behavior, saying prayers, while giving in to evil thoughts and entertaining selfish desires on the inside. That kind of divided life cannot endure for long. We can never be satisfied with merely exterior piety, and we can never consider ourselves superior to others just because our sins are less visible. Christ wants us to avoid living a double life, "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites. You are like whitewashed tombs, which appear beautiful on the outside, but inside are full of dead men's bones and every kind of filth" (Matthew 23:27). 

Today's faith communities are filled with people who pretend to have faith (I can attest to it from my own life), they sing and speak the words of faith but do not believe in a God who is real. They worship instead a god of their own imagination, a god who gives them pleasant feelings and makes no demands of them. They are in love with a god who turns a blind eye on all the evil things they do as long as they show up to church on Sundays, as long as they "take care" of god. Hell and purgatory are all meaningless imaginations; their cozy "grandfather in the sky" would never judge them harshly because whatever they did down here on earth was in part to take care of grandpa, to "glorify" him. Sometimes we forget how frequently and explicitly Jesus spoke of evil and sin. Because Christ is so demanding with us, because He tells us directly how much we need to change our lives, we can trust that He has our best welfare in mind. He wants us to be with Him in heaven, so He sternly warns us against everything that could lure us in the opposite direction, even if that meant dying on a cross for saying the truth.

Every religion has exterior appearances like feasts and other extravagant ceremonies, but true faith flows from the heart, the place where we decide for or against our conscience, for or against God’s will. Our friendship with Christ, and the purpose, strength, and vigor that flows out of that friendship, depends on our inner allegiance to Him; looking like pure gold on the outside can never substitute for that. Jesus doesn’t care what we look like to others; He cares about who we really are - what we do when nobody is looking at us.

Do I pay too much attention to appearances, Lord? How you despised hypocrisy! But Lord, I fall into it every day! I say I am your follower, and yet look at some of the things I say, things I do, and things I think! I wonder why I am so unhappy all the time. Is it because I am seeking fulfillment in mere appearances, in social acceptance, in having the right reputation and possessions? Am I being too spent by keeping the  cover over my true self? I find it impossible to resist the thrill of living a lie. You have tried to teach me the futility of that lifestyle. Give me the courage, wisdom, and love to live that lesson, and to pass it on.

"Do nothing out of selfishness or out of vainglory; rather, humbly regard others as more important than yourselves, each looking out not for his own interests, but (also) everyone for those of others. Have among yourselves the same attitude that is also yours in Christ Jesus, Who, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God something to be grasped. Rather, he emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, coming in human likeness; and found human in appearance, he humbled himself, becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross." (Philippians 2:3-8)

P.S.  This posting was inspired in part by an article by Fr. John Bartunek, a blogger on Catholic Spiritual Direction - http://rcspiritualdirection.com/blog/

The Calling of Saint Matthew

Today, the Church celebrates the Feast of St. Matthew, Apostle and Evangelist.  "As Jesus passed on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the customs post. He said to him, 'Follow me'. And he got up and followed him" (Matthew 9:9)

The Calling of Saint Matthew is a masterpiece by Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio, depicting the moment at which Jesus Christ inspires Matthew to follow him. It was completed in 1599-1600 for the Contarelli Chapel in the church of the French congregation, San Luigi dei Francesi in Rome, where it remains today.

The event is depicted here as dramatic, but nearly silent. The tax collector Levi (St.Matthew) is seated at the table with his four assistants, counting the day's proceeds. Jesus, with His halo the only hint of divinity, enters with St. Peter. With a gesture of His right hand, he summons Levi. A surprised Levi points to himself with his left hand as if to say "Who, me?" The armed young man close to Peter is leaning forward as if to question their reason for being there. Peter firmly gestures his right hand as if to say, "Stay out of this, young man. Let my master sort this out with your master".  At the time it was drawn, this painting faced severe criticism because Jesus was not on the center of the drawing, and also because of the contemporary French style costumes of those sitting around the table. 

The dramatic point of the picture is that for this moment, no one does anything. Christ's appearance is so unexpected and His gesture so commanding as to suspend action for a shocked instant, before reaction can take place. In another second, Levi will rise up and follow Christ; in fact, Christ's feet are already turned as if to leave the room. The particular power of the picture is in this cessation of action, the characteristic human indecision after a challenge or command, and before reaction. The costumes reinforce the situation. Levi and his subordinates, who are involved in affairs of this world, are dressed in a contemporary mode, while the barefoot Christ and Saint Peter, who summon Levi to another life and world, appear in timeless cloaks. The two groups are also separated by a void, connected literally and symbolically by Christ's hand.

The painting has so much meaning because it allows each one of us to be in the center of it, with Jesus standing on the side with His Church calling us to leave the earthly matters and to follow Him, to follow what really matters. Jesus doesn't care who we are or what we do,  "I didn't come to call the righteous but sinners" (Matthew 9:13). The two figures on the left do not even notice Christ's arrival; they are too much into this world's affairs and their inattention deprives them the opportunity Christ offers for eternal life. What would our reaction be, if it was us sitting around that table? Levi never looked back once he got up answering the call. 

"No one who sets a hand to the plow and looks to what was left behind is fit for the kingdom of God" (Luke 9:62)

Believe: Miracles do happen

I believe in miracles. But for a long time I didn't, that was when I needed logic and reason to believe anything. It was amusing to listen to people who received miraculous healing from incurable diseases, people talking about how improbable things became possible. Retreats, prayer groups, healing services - none of that made any sense, I couldn't find the rationale behind any of it. 

Now looking back at it, it really doesn't make any sense, I can't understand why I had such a hard time believing in miracles. If I think about it, every breath I take and every step I make is a miracle. When miracles happen continuously day after day, we call it normal, but it doesn't take anything away from the miracle itself, it still is an unexplainable act of divine nature. Yes, I can reason it as a random event in the whole spectrum of universal bodies, but is it random when billions and billions of people do the same thing over and over again for millions of years? 

For Christians who doubt miracles, they are doubting the very root of their faith. Incarnation, Virgin birth, Resurrection are not everyday terms; I don't think anybody alive today has witnessed any of that stuff. But every time we make a sign of cross or bow down in silence to pray,  we are professing our faith - our belief in something or someone that cannot be seen, and believing in something that cannot be proven. Things become a little bit more interesting for a Catholic because of transubstantiation, the doctrine of bread and wine transforming into the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ. I said Catholic in specific because for Catholics transubstantiation is not symbolic, it is REAL. Every Catholic is a cannibal - a flesh eating, blood drinking human being, the flesh and blood of Lord our Savior Jesus Christ. Try explaining that!!

Miracles do happen, not just the every day act of breathing and moving, but also the odd once in a while act of healing from an incurable disease, freedom from severe addiction, and help with any personal problem that might look impossible to solve to the human eye. Miracles are meant to be signs, confirmations for the Word of God; it is an invitation to trust in Him, to believe in Him. The Bible is filled with descriptions of miracles because Bible is the Word of God and the Word's effect on humanity, "So shall my word be that goes forth from my mouth; It shall not return to me empty, but shall do what pleases me, achieving the end for which I sent it" (Isaiah 55:11). For those who think that Bible is just a literary work and the Liturgy is symbolic, you have a lot of explaining to do, about everything seen and unseen, starting with your ability to think. 

I believe in miracles because I believe in a God for whom nothing is impossible. "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible" (Matthew 19:26).  For a few, realization of the existence of this God can come in a moment's time; for others, it it a struggle that can last a life time. If you are struggling with your faith or can't find it, then don't quit, let"EL-ROI (The strong one who sees)" (Genesis 16:13) and "JEHOVAH-SHAMMAH (The Lord who is present)" (Ezekiel 48:35) show you the way, a way to witness a miracle, maybe even take part in one. And those who believe, use your faith to pray for those can't and those who won't. Don't hold back praying for somebody because that person lack faith or due to his/her shortcomings, let God be the judge, "Without cost you have received; without cost you are to give" (Matthew 10:8).

"Have you come to believe because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed" (John 20:29). 

Can you feel the love

The God of the Old Testament is a mighty God,  the One who saved His chosen people from the powerful Pharaoh and led them through a hostile territory to the promised land. He went to war to save Israelites from enemies and abundantly blessed them with everything they needed. For the Jewish people, a Savior meant someone braver than David, someone who would lead them on a military expedition against their oppressors, a mighty king who would establish a kingdom that stretches from one end of the world to the other. Jesus, for obvious reasons, didn't fit the profile of that savior. They refused to believe Him even after the Resurrection, they wanted a savior who would conform into their expectations. 

Since its creation, humans misunderstood God's  feelings towards us and misinterpreted his promises; we have always looked at our relationship to God as an obligatory one, like the one involving a king and his subjects, like a master and his servants. God created humans in His own image with a free will. If given an opportunity to create, no king or master will create subjects or servants who are free to think, free to choose, let alone in their own likeness. God's love is the reason behind our creation, and that is the reason for creating us with a will to choose - to be with Him or not to be. Love is the reason He chose Abraham to father a great nation and love is the reason He fought wars on their behalf. The same love that made leather garments for Adam and Eve after the first sin (Exodus 3:21), provided the food and shelter for the Israelites even when they were disobedient and dishonest. But they failed to see the love behind God's actions, they took God as a privilege, concentrated only on His mighty deeds, used God to make themselves feel special. They made everybody's life miserable by misinterpreting the Commandments, by giving too much attention to the law and no attention to the love behind those commandments.

God's love, "...is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things" (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). Jesus is the personification of God's love, a love that yearn to be with us all the time. It is this love that compelled Him to be born in a manger and not in a castle, it is this love that made Him relieve people of their afflictions regardless of its causes, it is this love that "he empties himself, taking the form of a slave..., he humbled himself, becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross" (Philippians 2:7,8). It is this love that we have no time for; we want things from God, not as fruits of His love, but as a right for being one of His subjects. Jesus summarized  hundreds of thousands of Jewish laws into two commandments - love God above all things, and love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:37-39). As images of God, He expects us to love like He does. 

Is my love patient?

Is my love kind?

Is my love not jealous?

Is my love self-centered?

Is my love exaggerated?

Is my love rude?

Is my love purpose oriented?

Is my love comforting?

Is my love hurtful?

Is my love makes me turn a blind eye to wrongdoings?

Does my love allow me to bear all things?

Does my love allow me to be a believer?

Does my love allow me to be hopeful?

Does my love allow me to be enduring?

When we have faith in God, we are trusting in His love. God's graces and mercy are all outbursts of His love. Can we see God's love when we look at Jesus, can we hear His love in the Scriptures, can we experience His love in the Eucharist, can we feel His love in us, among us, all around us?

"No one has ever seen God. Yet, if we love one another, God remains in us, and his love is brought to perfection in us." (1 John 4:12)

Who do you say that I am?

Who would you rather be, Simon Peter or Judas Iscariot? The answer is a simple one if we look at how each one of them turned out to be at the end. But what if we omit the events from Passover to Good Friday, how about for the remaining three years or so when both of them were with Jesus as disciples? Simon Peter was a walking seesaw, kept swinging from one extreme to the other, just when you would think that he has settled down in his faith, he would find a way to stir things up with a doubt. On the other hand Judas was hardly ever mentioned during Jesus' ministry, so it is safe to assume that he just went with the rest of the disciples, listening and obeying the teachings of the Lord. 

Is it okay to DOUBT?

Doubt is not a word commonly associated with religion; conventional wisdom will tell you that the backbone of any religion is its devout followers. Every religion seeks God, when was the last time anybody found anything without searching? Does searching not involved traveling on previously unknown paths? How could one travel an unfamiliar road without asking a question or two, without ever doubting the directions given? How could anyone be a Christian without wondering about at least some of the contradictions they are being asked to believe? And the contradictions are many: it talks about a God who is just but "Was not Esau Jacob's brother? says the LORD: yet I loved Jacob, but hated Esau" (Malachi 1:3), it speaks of a God who is Omnipotent but chose to die on a cross, it claims to be one true religion but both Judaism and Islam worship the same God. The list could go on and on, but I think you've got the idea. 

During a Thapas Retreat this past weekend in Baltimore, MD, I was told to give a talk about 'Faith' to a group of devout Christians (I consider this proof enough that God has a sense of humor). And I wasted no time in posing the question whether anybody had any question about their beliefs, the foundation of their faith; not surprisingly, not a single person had any, they even thought of it as not a wise thing to do. If "Faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen" (Hebrews 11:1), then should we not put the evidence to test from time to time, how else do we know that what we have is the actual evidence?

I used two specific instances from the Bible to prove my point that a true Christian should ask questions about his/her faith, both from the gospel of St. Luke. When angel Gabriel announced to Zechariah, "...because your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you shall name him John" (Luke 1:13), he asked the angel, "How shall I know this? For I am an old man, and my wife is advanced in years" (Luke1:18). Zechariah asked a question and God left him "speechless and unable to talk" (Luke 1:20). Six months later, angel Gabriel made another announcement, this time he was sent to Mary, a virgin betrothed to man named Joseph, "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name him Jesus." (Luke 1:30,31). Upon hearing this Mary too asked the angel a question, "How can this be, since I have no relations with a man?" (Luke 1:34). Instead of punishing Mary for daring to ask a question, she was given an answer, "The holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore the child to be born will be called holy, the Son of God" (Luke 1:35). I asked my audience what they thought was the reason for Mary to be exempted from a fate similar to Zechariah, after all they both questioned "evidence of things not seen"? The best answer I received from the crowd was that God gave Mary a pass because she was about to bear His Son.

However, I found three things wrong with Zechariah's question:
1. The angel says, "your prayer has been heard", this means Zechariah had been praying to God for an offspring. By questioning an answered prayer, Zechariah proved himself to be a hypocrite.
2. As a Jewish priest, Zechariah must have heard about a man named Abraham, his wife Sara, and their son Isaac. This was not the first time that God gave a kid to a couple who were "advanced in years".
3. The pride in Zechariah made him to think that creation required the consent and physical ability of humans. Conception is God's gift and humans are mere instruments.

In short, God showed mercy to Zechariah by shutting his mouth, thus preventing him from uttering further fallacies.

In Mary's case, the question was a valid one; what she heard from the angel had never happened before except for a prophecy from Isaiah, "Therefore the Lord himself will give you this sign: the virgin shall be with child, and bear a son, and shall name him Immanuel" (Isaiah 7:14). A prophecy is neither "realization" nor "evidence". Mary was given an answer because her question was sincere, and she responded to the answer from the angel by saying, "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word" (Luke 1:38). 

This brings us to the two conditions for asking a question about faith: first, BE SINCERE, and second one is BELIEVE when the doubt is cleared. In other words, do not question faith just to question God, and do not walk away from it when God reveal the answer. Believe what you have already known about God, question what you don't understand about God. Everybody was created with a certain amount of faith, "For by the grace given to me I tell everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than one ought to think, but to think soberly, each according to the measure of faith that God has apportioned" (Roma 12:3). So God has created everyone with a certain measure of faith. God did this because our salvation depends directly on our faith, "For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not from you; it is the gift of God" (Ephesian 2:8). Some were given a lot more faith than others, but that is besides the point because all of us have the ability to increase the amount of faith given to us initially through hearing the Word of God, "Thus faith comes from what is heard, and what is heard comes through the word of Christ" (Roma 10:17). Coming back to the conditions, therefore do not question or lose the faith that God has already allocated to us at our creation, no matter how little it may be. If anybody wonder what that little bit faith might be, the answer is simple; if you are born into a Christian family, then God, at a bare minimum, has given you enough faith to believe in God the Father who is the Creator of the universe, in Jesus Christ who is His only Son and Redeemer, and in the Holy Spirit who is the Finger of God.

Faith without doubt is like salt without flavor. People who go through life without asking hard questions about why they believe what they believe will find themselves speechless while facing tragedies or when being probed by a skeptic. They are no different from those "...who built a house on the ground without a foundation. When the river burst against it, it collapsed at once and was completely destroyed" (Luke 6:49). I firmly believe that it is time for us to lose the image of God as the punisher and dictator, somebody who watches every step we take and hands out punishments every time we falter, and somebody who doesn't like questions. Time has exceeded to replace Him with, "There is no one like the God of Jeshurun, who rides on the heavens to help you and on the clouds in his majesty" (Deuteronomy 33:26). He is the God of Jeshurun which means God of the darling, He is God the Lover, "...for God is Love" (1 John 4:8). If doubt is what keeping us away from that love, then shouldn't we at least say, "...help my unbelief" (Mark 9:24)? Shouldn't we at least allow God to reveal the answers to our doubts through the Holy Spirit, when dared to ask in the name of His only Son, Jesus Christ.

"Taste and see that the LORD is good;

  blessed is the stalwart one who takes refuge in him." (Psalm 34:9)

Shake It Off and Step Up

There was a farmer who owned an old mule. The mule fell into one of farmer’s old wells. The farmer heard the mule crying for help. After carefully assessing the situation, the farmer sympathized with the mule, but decided that neither the mule nor the well was worth the trouble of saving. Instead, he called his neighbors together, told them what had happened, and enlisted them to help haul dirt to bury the old mule in the well and put him out of his misery.

Initially the old mule was dumbstruck by the insensitivity of the farmer. The mule spent all his life working sincerely for the farmer. Though old, the mule still tried its best to come through with whatever responsibilities he was given. All his life he never asked the farmer anything in return for all the hard work, but he always counted on the farmer to be there if he ever needed anything.

As the farmer and his neighbors continued shoveling the dirt into the well, a thought struck him. Every time a shovel load of dirt landed on his back, HE WOULD SHAKE IT OFF AND STEP UP!

This he did, blow after blow. “Shake it off and step up…shake it off and step up…shake it off and step up!” He repeated to encourage himself. No matter how painful the blows, or how distressing the situation seemed, the old mule fought panic and just kept right on SHAKING IT OFF AND STEPPING UP!

It wasn’t long before the old mule, battered and exhausted, stepped triumphantly over the wall of that well! What seemed like it would bury him actually helped him.

Saint Bridget of Sweden prayed for a long time to know how many blows Jesus Christ suffered during His terrible Passion. Rewarding her patience, one day He appeared to her and said, "I received 5480 blows upon My Body". Jesus took that many blows only to be nailed onto a cross and die; a life that began in a manger full of muck and odor of animal droppings ended on a cross, one of the most painful, cruel and humiliating punishments ever invented. Throughout His life on earth as a human being, Jesus was always surrounded with setbacks and criticisms. All through the miseries, Jesus obeyed His Heavenly Father and walked according to the will of God, by following the inspirations of the Holy Spirit. Looking through the human eyes, it is impossible to find glory in the birth, life and death of Jesus Christ. But by looking beyond the hopelessness in every setback and insensitivity in every criticism, and by abiding to the indomitable love of God, Jesus Christ was glorified, thus glorifying God the Father. "..., Jesus said, 'Now is the Son of Man glorified, and God is glorified in him'"(John 13:31).  

Most of us keep our faith intact when stricken with a blow; however a couple of blows  in a row might cause many of us to lose sight of God's infinite love. It then allows despair, confusion and shame to set in, forcing ourselves to question a God who is All-Powerful and Almighty. Such doubts may end up falsely accusing ourself as the reason for all the troubles and distress, saying, "O Lord, look at how evil I am; I am so selfish that not even you can love me or help me”. Making us to believe that God turns His back to sinners, and that sinners are not entitled for His love is one of the most efficient weapons of the devil. The truth is, God reveals himself to us through love, "For God is love" (1 John 4:8). God’s love is the only reason we exist. His power is the how of our creation and His love is the why. Whenever we find ourself discouraged or preoccupied about our own weakness and selfishness, we are actually falling into the dangerous territory. Discouragement and self-condemnation is not something that comes from the Holy Spirit. In fact, many theologians claim discouragement and self-condemnation as a subtle form of spiritual pride, which is one of the seven capital sins. When we give ourselves to discouragement and self-condemnation and allow ourselves to be weighed down by it, we are turning our back to a God who love us so much so that, "He gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life" (John 3:16). Every time we fall, we must cry out to a God whose mercy, love, and power are immensely greater than our miseries and sins. Our Lord revealed to St. Margaret Mary that even if all the sins of the world were on her soul, compared to his burning love for her, they would be like a drop of water thrown into a blazing furnace. 

So, whenever you feel like turning in on yourself and being drawn into the pit of self-deprecation, simply turn your attention back to whatever it is God wants you to be doing at that moment, even if it’s something as simple as SHAKING IT OFF AND STEPPING UP. 

Trust in God's love, then face our problems and respond to them positively, and refuse to give in to panic, bitterness, or self-pity.

God and the grocery

In apartment building, a pious Christian lady used to live next door to an atheist. She was in the habit waking up early morning and praying; on top of it, she spent her entire day praising God in loud voice. The atheist soon got fed up with her and tried every word in his vocabulary to make her shut up, but nothing worked. 

One day, this woman ran out of all the groceries and she still had a few more days to go before getting paid. So she made a list of groceries she would need and began praying to God reading out the list. She continued to thank God for all his love and caring and asked God to help her overcome her current situation. 

This went on all day and the atheist next door finally lost all his patience listening to this lady begging to God for her groceries. He knew that the groceries would never come; it just don't work like that, he was certain. Then he decided to play a practical joke on this woman, so he copied down the list of groceries, went to grocery store and bought everything on the list. 

Upon return, he put all the grocery in front of her door, rang the bell and hid. The lady opened the door and saw all the bags of groceries. She immediately realized that the groceries matched with exactly what she had been asking all day for. She looked around and saw no one. Thinking that it was an act of God, she began praising God. 

The atheist let it go on for a while thoroughly enjoying the show, then he came out of his hiding place and began laughing at the woman. He told her that it was him who bought the groceries and showed her the receipt as proof. He told the lady to quit praying and praising because there is no god.

Upon hearing this, the woman began praising God even louder.She even began singing a hymn about the mighty power of God, the One to Whom everything is possible.

Completely baffled by her reaction, the atheist wanted some answers from the woman, and she said, "Not only did God give me the grocery I needed, but also got the devil to pay for it".

It is absolutely necessary to have a positive attitude to have a prayer answered. We all have certain ideas about how our prayers would be answered.  Often times, our prayers are answered in ways which are totally beyond our imagination or expectation. By remaining grateful to God and enabling ourselves to see goodness regardless of the situation that we are in, we can help ourselves to feel the presence of God's loving hands working in our lives. When we open our hearts and minds to feel that presence, we will realize that all we have said and done, all the time spent in reading the Scriptures and engaged in what felt like hopeless, irresponsible prayers have been of help after all. It is not the one thing we have done, but it is everything we have done. At the moment when we realize that a prayer has been answered, all the afflictions we face, all the obstacles we amassed, all the doubts we accumulated will simply vanish. It is a time to be filled with the absolute certainty that God's been there all along enjoying with us in our happiness, grieving with us in our pains, suffering in our sins and celebrating when we turn around to receive His grace.

The Mouse Trap

A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package. “What food might this contain?” the mouse wondered. He was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.

Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning: “There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!”

The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said “Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it.”

The mouse turned to the pig and told him “There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!” The pig sympathized, but said “I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured you are in my prayers.”

The mouse turned to the cow and said “There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!” The cow said “Wow, Mr. Mouse. I’m sorry for you, but it’s no skin off my nose.”

So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer’s mousetrap alone.

That very night a sound was heard throughout the house – like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey. The farmer’s wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught. The snake bit the farmer’s wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital and she returned home with a fever.

Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup’s main ingredient. But his wife’s sickness continued, so friends and neighbors came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig. The farmer’s wife did not get well; she died. So many people came for her funeral, the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them.

The mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness.

So, the next time you hear someone is facing a problem and think it doesn’t concern you, remember: in a community, when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk. We must keep an eye out for one another and make an extra effort to encourage one another. Each of us is a vital thread in another person’s tapestry.

Is the priest a stumbling block for a true confession?

This past weekend, I was given an opportunity to work with 22 youths attending a three day retreat. We had a couple of 12 year olds in the group and the oldest was 19. Two counsellors and I prepared them on the second day for confessions by helping them to do an Examination of Conscience. Questions were many as they had plenty of time to reflect upon many aspects of the Commandments. At the end of the process, many began to have cold feet over confessing their sins to a priest. This was a problem many of us adults also faced at some point in our lives, so we had arranged for a priest who hasn't been involved with any of these kids in the past, a total stranger for them. Even then, they began to question the necessity of a priest in the confession process. Some even began to question the confession itself; they wondered about the need for confession since the all knowing Lord our God already knew the sins committed. Most of such questions came from the elders of the group; they were all more than happy to have a one on one conversation to God Himself rather than going through a priest, though the priest was a 85 year old Franciscan Friar. 

As I have mentioned it in one of my previous blogs, Lying at the Confessional, I knew all too well about how they felt. Luckily, these youngsters had the courage to speak about it and seek answers to a dilemma. Though I overcame my problems with confession for the most part, I never had a proper answer to the need for priest. I did understand that a confession is needed because it our chance to accept responsibility for our transgressions. It is true that God knows about all our sins, but we only receive forgiveness for those sins that we confess with repentance and a promise not to repeat that sin again. There is a very good chance that we might not be able to keep that promise; it is okay to do that as long as we do not repeat the sins thinking that God would forgive us again if we confess it again. We must not deliberately try to take advantage of God's mercy. 

I was happy when I heard several of the youths asking a question I had forgotten about, and I thanked God for digging up one of the doubts from my unconscious mind. The answer came from the Catechism of Catholic Church. 

CCC1444: In imparting to his apostles his own power to forgive sins the Lord also gives them the authority to reconcile sinners with the Church. This ecclesial dimension of their task is expressed most notably in Christ's solemn words to Simon Peter: "I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven" (Matthew 16:19). The office of binding and loosing which was given to Peter was also assigned to the college of the apostles united to its head. 

Another reason for the involvement of a priest made even more sense, and it is has everything to do with the human aspect of the priest. "Go; first be reconciled to your brother" (Matthew 5:24), confession is an act of reconciliation, it involves not only the reconciliation with God but also the reconciliation with those whom we have sinned against on earth. In many cases such a reconciliation is impractical because we can never tell with surety whom all have been hurt by our sins. It can also be unwise in some instances because of the unforeseen and/or unwanted consequences following an apology. Whenever possible we are supposed to apologize to our "neighbors" for our transgressions, but discretion is certainly advised. In such occasions, the priest is our "substitute neighbor"; in addition to representing Christ, he also represents our neighbors, those we have hurt with our sins. 

CCC1455: The confession (or disclosure) of sins, even from a simply human point of view, frees us and facilitates our reconciliation with others. Through such an admission man looks squarely at the sins he is guilty of, takes responsibility for them, and thereby opens himself again to God and to the communion of the Church in order to make a new future possible. 

We knew the young men and women were satisfied with the answers when it took the priest almost four hours to hear the confessions. 

I will end this with another quote from the Catechism, in case anybody is still having doubts about doing a sincere examination of conscience, confession and penance. 

CCC1458: Whoever confesses his sins . . . is already working with God. God indicts your sins; if you also indict them, you are joined with God. Man and sinner are, so to speak, two realities: when you hear "man" - this is what God has made; when you hear "sinner" - this is what man himself has made. Destroy what you have made, so that God may save what he has made .... When you begin to abhor what you have made, it is then that your good works are beginning, since you are accusing yourself of your evil works. the beginning of good works is the confession of evil works.