A Purple Cross with Pink Flowers

A while back I heard somebody talking about a gift she once received, it was a handmade cross painted in purple with little pink flowers all over it. She liked it so much so that she put it where everybody could see it. At the time, I thought of it as a nice gesture by whoever took the time making a beautiful cross to be given away as a meaningful gift. But while reading an article by an Australian surgeon named Dr. Andreas Lambrianides about the practice of crucifixion by ancient Romans, the purple cross came back to mind. What I realized was that I too have fallen into the trap of domesticating the Cross. The Cross is not meant to be purple, green or yellow; it is not meant to be decorative or exuberant, it represents a device used for one of the most cruel and excruciating punishments ever devised by man. For Christians, it is a constant reminder that, "He himself bore our sins in his body upon the cross, so that, free from sin, we might live for righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed." (1 Peter 2:24). Jesus Christ paid the price for Salvation with His own body and blood by dying on a cross, and even today His blood cleanses and nourishes the Church, His body.

My Encounters with the Devil

If you are reading this post because the title sparked your interest, then you are probably expecting to read about some out-of-this world experience that brought me face to face with the "father of lies". Unfortunately though (or is it, fortunately?) I have no such experiences to talk about. All my encounters with the devil occurred here in this world and there was no burning fire, black smoke, or smell of sulfur. The devil I met had nothing bad or undesirable about him. And this devil, I meet everyday! 

A few weeks ago, while talking with some friends, the conversation somehow veered off into some of the unfortunate incidents that occurred in our society recently. Someone suggested that incidents like the Sandy Hook school shooting, the Colorado movie theater shooting and the Boston marathon bombings show clear demonic presence in our society. Needless to say, within a matter of few minutes, many more got involved in this conversation and seemed like everyone was in agreement about how the devil and his minions had something to do with these unfortunate events.

Can I Judge Without "Judging"?

In the Gospel of St. Matthew, we see Jesus using tough language against judging others: "Stop judging, that you may not be judged... Why do you notice the splinter in your brother's eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye?" (Matthew 7:1,3). This passage brings up an interesting dilemma as it seems to contradict another important teaching of Christ from Matthew's Gospel itself: "If your brother sins, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone" (Matthew 18:15). In order to point out your brother of a fault, is it not necessary to judge him first? But is it not a sin to judge my brother to begin with?

The Fire of Joy, Purification, and Torture

June is devoted to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, and the Solemnity of the Sacred Heart is celebrated on the octave (eight day) of the Feast of Corpus Christi. This year this feast happens to fall on a first Friday, a day usually devoted to the Sacred Heart of Jesus throughout the year. The devotion to the Sacred Heart became universal following the visions of St. Margaret Mary Alacoque (1647 - 1690). 

The most noticeable aspect of the Sacred Heart of Jesus is the fire which represents His burning love for all mankind. In fact, the representation of fire as God's love goes beyond symbolism. The actual love of God the Father and God the Son is showered upon human beings in the form of fire - the holy Spirit came upon the Apostles as tongues of fire. As we live in the Age of the Church which is guided by the Spirit of God, this fire is ever-present in our everyday life. 

The Spy Amongst Us

According to the Gospel of Matthew, Judas went to the chief priests and agreed to hand over Jesus to them for thirty pieces of silver (cf. Matthew 26). In the Church, the Wednesday before the Passover goes by the name Spy Wednesday. Jesus now has a spy in his camp, somebody who is seeking an opportunity to betray his Master when the time is right. 

When I heard this during the homily this morning, I thought what a horrible thing - it is really hard to fathom how an all-knowing Jesus felt knowing fully well that Judas is a spy. Then I read the following commentary by Origen (185-254 AD), a Bible scholar and early Church father:

God can't save me from the lion's den

Please go here to read my article published at CATHOLIC STAND.

Too Proud to Ask in Prayer

"Therefore I tell you, all that you ask for in prayer, believe that you will receive it and it shall be yours." (Mark 11:24)

For a believer, prayers are powerful means to petition for God's providence, to praise His mightiness, and to thank for His protection and provision. Though I have returned to God's corner, I still find prayers, especially mental prayers, to be problematic from time to time. I have no problem with praising Him or thanking Him, but I struggle with the asking part (I do the asking using mental prayer. Why let the person next to me confused with all my petitions?). There is something in me that prevents me from asking. It could very well be pride. To determine, I have decided to chronologically write down my prayer process over the last year or so. So here it is.

Saul's Horse and St. Paul's Race

Conversion of St. Paul
by Caravaggio

The Church today commemorates the fall of Saul of Tarsus, or commonly known as the feast day of conversion of St. Paul. One of the first things that comes to mind when I think about how Saul turned into Paul, is his fall off of the horse. Saul was on his way to Damascus to arrest and bring Christians back to Jerusalem as part of the early Christian persecution. Though the Acts of Apostles give a vivid picture of what happened to Saul during that journey, it doesn't say anything about a horse; it simply says, "He fell to the ground" (Acts 9:4). So where did this horse come from, or does it even matter whether there was a horse or not?  

I will be the first one to admit and the last to realize that I am no Bible expert. I am still confused how to perceive what I read in the Bible - whether it is literal or figurative. But when it comes to Saul's fall, I have no doubt that a horse was involved; not a literal one, but a figurative one. And how do I know this? I know because it takes one to know one; I too have fallen off the horse.

The Curious Case of Lance Armstrong - Part 1

Almost everything is a news these days, everybody knows everything. In this age of information over-flood that we live in, it is hard to say where the next big news is going to come from. So it is not surprising to see a guy who made bicycling looks cool making news these days, though for the wrong reasons. Lance Armstrong's name was a synonym for human perseverance and endurance. A cancer survivor who won seven Tour de France, one of the most grueling sports competitions, Armstrong gave hope and courage to millions going through tough times. 

Past, Present, and Future. Oh yeah, and God also.

The Prelude
The day was horrible - temperature was in the low 40s and it drizzled all day. Everywhere I looked, I saw shades of gray. Earth has lost its greenery. Light fog covered everything. I had two choices, both unusual: make batter with chickpea flour, deep fry everything I could put my hands on, or spend the day in an Adoration Chapel - a 15ft X 10ft room with no windows - and make good use of the Notepad app on the iPhone. I chose the latter. And now I wonder if I would get up tomorrow regretting my choice. Choices, O God, tricky indeed they are. With Your grace, one thing I have decided - when choosing between the two unknowns, I will go for the one that is more unusual than the other.

Point the Way

The Church celebrates Epiphany - the visit of three magi to the Christ child - this Sunday. The Scripture says that they came from the East following the star of Bethlehem. The wise men saw the star and they left the comforts of their home to embark on a difficult and dangerous journey in search of God. The star went before them, guiding them, and pointing them in the right direction, thus drawing them closer to God. Several years later we get to see another star in the Bible, he is John the Baptist. As the man responsible to "Make straight the way of the Lord", John pointed the crowds that came to listen to him to Christ Jesus. 

The Evangelist

During early and mid 1990s, as a full time college student in New York city and living on my own, I was in desperate need of a nighttime job. My search ended at the regional hub of United Parcel Services located on 43rd Street and 11th Ave, when I was hired to load and unload tractor trailers during the midnight shift. Everybody I knew was against me taking that job because it involved walking through Times Square at 11 o'clock at night. I was only a year or so removed from getting off the boat into the United States, and many feared that I don't have the street smarts to survive walking through the red light district to get to work. Times Square was the center of everything that is considered "dirty" by family oriented people, the place was humming with prostitutes, adult movie theaters, drug dealers, drug addicts and those who seek carnal pleasures. Never a man who listened to  unsolicited advises, I took the job. After making my way through the "sinners" for the first several week, one thing I learned quickly, though the place could be used as the cover picture for mayhem, there exists an underlying order and everybody notices everything. In the beginning, I was approached by everybody from transvestites to pimps in fur coats; a week later, I walked through there as if I am invisible, not even a runaway teenager who just got off the bus from the Midwest solicited my business. I too began to recognize familiar faces in the crowd, it was mostly the same people standing at the same spot every night wearing the same dress.

Christmas without Christ

I stayed away from blogging for a couple of days to prepare a talk for the Faith Forum discussion at our Church. I must say that I worked really hard for it, picked apart the hard language of the Catechism of the Catholic Church, and came up with a talk about the mystery behind the simple and inglorious birth of Jesus. Then came the disappointing part - I had three people in attendance to listen to the talk! It turned out people were too busy to come to church an hour early because all of them were busy getting ready for Christmas. Some even suggested that it was really not a good idea to schedule a talk a day before Christmas - even though the talk was about Jesus' birth. I am sorry if I sound bitter, but am I the only fool to see the irony here? We are too busy preparing for the birth of our Savior, but what about the Savior who is already here?

Rejecting Jesus during Christmas

A billboard from American Atheists at
Times Square, NY

Many of us go into the Christmas season with lot of expectations - it is supposed to be a joyous time of the year, a time for family, a time to share gifts, a time to slow down and listen to the holiday music playing nonstop on the radio. But I don't feel all too happy this time of the year - things just didn't pan out the way I was hoping. I feel rejected during one of the happiest time of the year. I hope and pray that I am the only one who feels this way, but I know I am not. 

For most of us, Christmas is a time when we are anxious, frustrated and desperate. We spend months planning and making lists of things to do during Christmas. We park a mile away from the mall and fight the crowd to get around the stores, only to find out that half of the stuff on our shopping list is out of stock. We wait on an endless line to pay for the useless stuff we bought as gifts only to face the smirk of a cashier who would inform us in a less than sympathetic way that our credit card has been declined.

There will be blood

A school, especially an elementary school, would easily be considered as a safe haven for kids. It is an essential place in the development of any kid - a place where we learn to adapt to our life, with the help of grown ups. A classroom is also a place where kids naturally feel  safe. A nation is in pain and the world shocked upon hearing about a coldblooded killer who trespassed into the safety zone of kids only to shoot them point blank one after the other. We are outraged about the senselessness and insanity associated with the incident. We can feel our stomach churn while looking at the pictures of the innocent lives that were taken away for no apparent reasons. Without taking anything away from the pain and sufferings of that community, I must ask, "Are we truly upset and outraged about the murder of the most defenseless of our citizens in a place where they should be most protected?"

I failed to see the "Light" in Lucy

On Wednesday of this week I tried to write a new article only to realize that I am running on empty - I had nothing to write about. That never happened before since I started blogging. So I decided to wait it out and did my usual readings hoping to get a spark. But nothing. Could it be that I have done or wrote something horrible that God deemed me not worthy to write anymore, the doubter in me began to poke its ugly head by the evening. I usually resort to praying when the doubter shows up since I don't know how else to combat him. Then I had an inspiration to write about "light". And it made sense because we are in the Advent season, the Season of light. So I did that last article "Let there be light". But I felt something missing from that article, as if that's not what I was suppose to write. But I didn't know what else to write about light, so I left it alone.

Don't get stuck in the island

'Life of Pi' is one of those rare films that makes you think. Though a commercial Hollywood movie, it is rich in philosophy with strong theological undercurrents. The whole movie is based around a boy named Pi Patel and a Bengal tiger named Richard Parker, and their struggle to survive following a shipwreck. However, when I left the theater another character from the movie had taken me over - an unusually different character than the ones we are used to. And that also will explain how 'Life of Pi' found its place in a blog that is dedicated primarily to faith in God (or the lack of it).

What is the Truth?

In the gospel of St. John during His trial, Pilate asked Jesus, "What is the truth?". There is no mention of Jesus answering this question. This has confused me a lot over time. Just before Pilate asked the question, Jesus told him that He came to the world to testify to the truth. So why did Jesus say nothing when He was given the opportunity to do so?


Fast forward two thousand years, and we see that things has changed a good bit. Nowadays we only get to hear about the truth. Truth is everywhere and everybody is in favor of the truth. Everybody claims to know the truth - the faithful, the atheist, the pro-choice, the pro-life, the politician, the lifestyle guru, the scientist, the wealthy and the homeless. Yet the world we live in is divided in the name of the truth. So what is the truth? Is there such a thing called the absolute truth? 

Fear Not

I still remember the day when the oldest of our three kids was born. Unfortunately something still hurts in me when I think about it,unlike the birth of our other two kids. I think it is because it was the first time in my life I was scared for the life of a loved one. I remember how a room with a doctor and nurse attending my wife in labor along with myself and a relative - a room filled with happiness and anticipation of a new life - turned into a room filled doctors and nurses with intense faces, in a matter of minutes. Like many of us, I too never liked to think about death, especially of myself or one of my loved ones. Death was something that happened elsewhere - to people I didn't care much about and in places I didn't know about. Then in an instant, in that hospital room, I became aware of the ultimate danger. My daughter is now nine years old and my wife is, let's just say, nine years older - in short, everything turned out to be okay that day. But I still shudder when I think about that day.

Gauging My Faith

The Crucifixion of St. Peter
Caravaggio, 1600 AD

There times when I wonder how strong my faith is. This question becomes even more valid as I am getting ready to join a small group of faithful lay people in our church to form a forum with the intention of promoting faith within the community. 

Over the last year, I was blessed enough to meet many people whose faith is incomprehensible to me. I know a doctor who who uses his office to hold Bible studies in the evenings. I know an unemployed man who spends all day making rosaries to raise money for the needy. Then there are a lot of people in between these two - people who are willing to do anything without any regard of the consequences, in the love of Christ Jesus. I don't think any of them have benefitted significantly for doing what they do. If anything, their lives are filled with sacrifices - both personal and financial.  But somehow they were able to stay in their faith and grow in their faith. I often thank God for placing me in the company of people with strong faith, because I have a tendency to be proud about my achievements - whether it be faith, health or wealth. But a glimpse of these people is more than enough to me bring me back on to earth and fills me with the reality that my faith is anything but solid.