I am not Perfect and That's not All That Bad

There is a misconception among many that people who pray a lot and attend Mass and other church services regularly are really good people. Recently somebody told me that they have lost their faith mostly because of the hypocrisy of people who prays a lot - people like renewed catholics. This person further went onto explain that they used to have a lot of respect for Charismatic preachers and other members of the prayer group. Then they had the opportunity to be in close contact with one for an extended period of time. They said that it was disappointing to see a normal person who was prone to anger, impatience, and harshness. They were expecting a holy man, somebody filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, longanimity, mildness, faith, modesty, continency, and chastity (the 12 Fruits of the Holy Spirit), but realized that the person is nothing more than a regular human being. They told me that it made them realize that people who go around to preach and pray are just phony. This person went onto say that it has created a deep wound in their mind that they even begun to doubt their own faith. They said that they can't understand why God, who knows that this person was phony, listened to this person's prayers because it turned out this person's intercessory prayers were really effective. They thought that they too was living a life similar to the charismatic person, but all of their prayers to God had gone to deaf ears.

The old sarcastic in me wanted to answer first and almost said that perhaps the charismatic person is praying to the devil, after all how could God listen to the prayers of such an evil person who is living a lie. But I sensed a lot of pain and despair in this person - I saw somebody trying hard to hold onto the little faith they had left. So I prayed to the Holy Spirit for a viable answer to help this person. Then I immediately realized that the charismatic person in question could as well be me. I have been to several renewal retreats myself; I have dared to speak during some of these retreats; I spend a good bit of time praying; I have written in the past about how I feel the presence of God when praying. But I am anything but perfect -  I am selfish, I have a temper problem, I can be very impatient, and there are times when I was accused of being judgmental. Have my actions caused somebody to stray away from God, I wonder.

I would have to say that the person in despair is on the wrong because they were looking at faith while standing on their head. It is common for people to look at an answered prayer through a worldly perspective. People looks at the person who became instrumental to this miraculous event (in this case, the charismatic preacher), and often decides to give them credit for the act. Anytime we tag somebody with supernatural abilities, then that person becomes a more than life character and we expect more from them. This nature of us humans is not anything new as evident from the experience Jesus faced from the people of His hometown as narrated in the Gospel of Mark Chapter 6:1-6. Here, Jesus is familiar to the people of Nazareth - He is the carpenter who made their tables and chairs. Though these people have heard about many of Jesus' mighty deeds, they are focussing only on the human aspect of Him. And for them, being a carpenter was something of a lesser thing. "So they took offense at Him". As God, Jesus was a perfect human being. Even then people found fault in Him. No human ever born is without sin (with exception of Mother Mary), and that goes for all the Apostles, Prophets, and Saints. Jesus wants all of us to strive for perfection, and we humans need to understand that it is a lifelong process. You don't get to be perfect at some point in your life and stay perfect for the rest of your life. What matters is that if you are trying and this is where prayer comes in. 

In prayer, you humble yourself and tell God that you are imperfect and ask for His grace so that you can continue to strive towards perfection. People often misunderstand the "give me" in prayer as request for material benefits. Just because a person spend a lot of time in prayer doesn't mean he is asking for worldly things - they could be begging God to help them with any spiritual imperfections and behavioral problems that they might have. Nobody should presume a person is flawless because he is "into" prayer, or because he is part of a prayer group or charismatic renewal. The pews of churches gets filled every week NOT because the Church only allows perfect people to enter it, but because Christ said, "Those who are well do not need a physician, but the sick do" (Matthew 9:12). Perfect ones have no need for prayers, unfortunately, the Bible calls those who considers themselves flawless "self righteous". When you consider yourself to be righteous, you are closing your heart to God's intervention, refusing God's mercy, and choosing to judge others with contempt.

God chooses the imperfect and fragile ones in the society to make His works visible. Just because there is an immediate response to one person's prayer doesn't make him any better than anybody else. When God chose twelve men to continue His work on earth, He didn't choose the perfect ones. Instead He handpicked people who are flawed, and one of them was a crook who ended up betraying Him. When we listen to somebody preaching the Word of God, don't listen to him, but listen to what he is talking about. 

I hope and pray that through these blogs, I am not giving anybody the idea that I am a perfect human being. I confess that I have failed numerous times to live up to what I write or say. So if you ever found me fallen please help me back up to continue the journey, rather than abandoning your journey. Just remember that I am talking and writing about a God who is Perfect, that doesn't make me perfect in any sense at all. 

"I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me. Therefore, I am content with weakness, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Corinthians 12:9,10)