The Church is limiting my growth!!!

With over 2000 years of history behind it's back, Catholicism in particular and Christianity in general can easily be mistaken as faith of the old. With its doctrines and moral guidelines, it seems to enslave its members, determining what they must believe and how they need to practice their faith. Many Christian denominations realized this and moved significantly away from the doctrines of early Church, with tailor made belief systems for the communities they target. But Catholicism resisted any significant changes in its belief system over the course of time. This has caused people of other faith, even other Christian denominations, to label Catholics as culturally narrow by refusing to have an open mind to different lifestyles, practices, and perspectives. Catholics are being bombarded with questions everyday from peers regarding the reasons behind many of the teachings of the Church - homosexuality, divorce, pro-choice and treatment of women are among some of today's hot topics. The following is a common question from many youngsters who grew up as  Catholics, but now think that it is not right for any religion to claim that they are the "true religion". 

I was brought up as a Catholic. Now that I am old enough to think for myself, it seems like Catholicism doesn't allow me the freedom to think for myself. By being a Catholic, I am allowing somebody to limit my personal growth and thinking because it constraints my freedom to choose or formulate my own beliefs and practices.

Many of young Catholics, even some older ones, believe it is important for Catholicism to expand its view on how it sees the world, and better adapt to todays lifestyle rather than asking people to conform to the lifestyle and teachings that are thousands of years old. In today's world, people like to trust in their own power to think and make decisions based on it, rather than blindly following authority and tradition. The standards of freedom are set so high, many even believe that if you cannot make your own decisions, then you are not a free human being. 

The problem with freedom is that it is often defined in a negative term; freedom is the absence of constraints, rather than the liberty to do whatever one wishes. We don't think ourselves as free unless somebody or something put some limitations over what we do. What we often tend to overlook is how humans have always used constraints and boundaries as means of being free. Throughout the history of humanity, we have always lived in groups or communities. Rules and regulations in the form of laws are deemed an essential part of any community. These laws, evolved from the needs of that community itself, are often constraining in nature. They restrict its members from doing certain things, thus enabling the whole community to enjoy the benefits being members of that group. These constraints allows the members to explore and experiment with their abilities to grow and accomplish things - a school or a physical training facility can be examples for such communities. What we often realize is that the laws of that community has helped us in our accomplishments by keeping ourselves focussed. The restrictions also prevents us from any unnecessary risk taken that would jeopardize integrity of the community as a whole. So if we can use judicious restrictions to grow - to free ourselves from restraints -  in our physical and intellectual fields, why couldn't we use constraints to grow in spirituality? Instead of insisting on freedom to determine our own own spirituality and morality, shouldn't we be looking to seek and discover the spirituality that was handed down to us from our families, and learn ways to discipline ourselves to live according to it? We don't leave school every time when we are faced with difficulty to adjust to certain limitations, rather we look for ways to work with it and find ways to assimilate it into our life. So why do we tend to walk away from our faith because of disagreement over certain constraints?

Another thing people often forget about is the basis of morality itself. For everybody, good moral values includes living a descent life by being good to oneself and also to others. This makes LOVE the center of morality, and love is always restrictive. In the real world, any form of love requires that we give up some of our independence - to enjoy the many fruits of love, we will have to sacrifice some of our freedom. You cannot expect to become a morally sound person by making unilateral decisions all the time, for love demands freedom from personal autonomy. 

Also, for a love relationship to work, the loss must be mutual, both parties must be willing to sacrifice. At first sight, Catholicism seems inherently demanding - without any willingness to negotiate or compensate. To understand, what seems like, the stubbornness of the Church, it is important to understand what the Church is. The Church is the Body of Christ, any changes made to the Church is changes made to Christ Himself. So what's the big deal about changing Christ's body? Changing Christ's body is making changes to a God who love us so much so that He took the human form, "it was our infirmities that he bore, our sufferings that he endured" (Isaiah 53:4). Changing the teachings of the Catholic Church to fit to our needs means changing a God who nullified Himself for the sake of Love, a God who not only said but also practiced, "No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends" (John 15:13). God has already adjusted to us in the most radical way - by becoming a limited human being, by suffering and dying on a cross - because He loves us. Have we amended our ways enough in return for His love? Why do we keep insisting that Him and the Catholic Church, His body, be changed again and again? What is it that we want it to be changed to - a God who refuses to die for our sins, a God whose love has reservations?

Love is not limiting and constraining when it is true love - love that is willing to sacrifice everything without expecting anything in return. The Catholic Church teaches that message of love to its followers through the Doctrines of the Church. The Church cannot change the love of Christ because there is no better love out there that it can replace it with. If the love of Christ seems too much and too constraining, and if you want to walk away from it, then I can't help but wonder about the  basis of your thought process and sense of morality. Could your love be selfish? Could your actions be self-serving? Could your moral values be self-centered?

"Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, love is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails..."       

(1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

I am in pain and God is not helping!!

For many of us, while facing what seems like unending pain and sufferings, one of the most puzzling question is "Why does God allow miseries and evil to exist?". This question went unanswered for a long time, then well-wishers learned to point at the Crucifix, and began saying consoling things like "look at Jesus, He has done nothing wrong, God still allowed Him to endure all that sufferings, it's not anything you did, it is God's plan". It is somewhat a reasonable explanation for the one who says it. But for the one in pain, the sufferings of Jesus might not mean much. For one thing, Jesus was not just any human being, He was God. More importantly, He came to earth so that we can be freed from the pain and sufferings, not for Him to die like that on a cross. "Jesus on the Cross" can be a matter of confusion for a believer in distress, needless to talk about somebody struggling with their faith. Thinking rationally, the cross could represent a God who allows terrible sufferings - an all powerful God not loving enough to end the evil and pain, or an all loving God not powerful enough to end the evil and pain.

While trying to answer this dilemma, it important to point out that a non-believer should never question or blame God for sufferings in the world because they have nothing out there to compare the sufferings and pains of this world to. The idea that people are created to live happily on earth involves a Creator - an out of this world power who introduced the feeling of happiness into our minds. Theory of Evolution is the idea behind man's existence for the non-believers, when someone rely on 'survival of the fittest' as reason for being here on earth, then there is no room in there to complain about pain and sufferings that threaten that someone's very existence in favor of someone else. To seek answers for pain and sufferings, one needs to be a believer in God, or at least somebody who wants to believe in God.

The above statement also can be for those who are thinking about abandoning their belief in God because of the existence of pain and suffering. It is important for them to understand that the flip side of faith has absolutely nothing to offer for the pain and suffering. It is a mistake to think that pain and sufferings are easier to handle in a world without God. They become even more torturous when we suffer in vain; in God, pain and sufferings are never in vain.

No religion other than Christianity can fully understand pain and sufferings because it is the only religion that claims that God became fully human in Jesus Christ, and suffered firsthand the pain of despair, rejection, hunger, torture, imprisonment, and the agony of dying. By denying the divinity of Jesus, both Judaism and Islam denied themselves the opportunity to comfort human pain; sufferings can only be answered through the Cross. Buddhism is atheism where salvation is taken out of God's hands and placed in the hands of every individual, and it preaches the spirituality of indifference. Hindus believe in illusion (maya) - according to them, nothing is real, not even the pain and sufferings. 

Even in instances where Christianity struggle to answer the reason for pain and suffering, we can be certain of what the answer is not. It definitely can't be that God doesn't love us, He is not indifferent to our condition. He takes it so seriously that He took it on Himself, so that someday evil and sufferings can end without ending our existence on earth. Jesus on the Cross is a deep consolation and strength to face the brutalities on earth, it is proof that "God so loved the world that he gave his only Son.." (John 3:16). We can be assured that love of God is with us even in our worst sufferings. 

But we need something more than God's love that endured sufferings and death in times of our pain, what we need is an end to our miseries. This is why it is important for everybody who look at the Cross for an answer for their sufferings need to look beyond the Cross.  Christian view of pain and sufferings is not just consolation on the Cross, more importantly it is restoration in Resurrection. The answer for worldly miseries is not the cross, it is what comes after the cross; unfortunately though, there is no resurrection without the cross. "...For whoever suffers in the flesh has broken with sins" (1 Peter 4:1), sufferings are needed to strip us off our pride, to become humble and obedient. This is how we are sanctified - liberated from the captivity of sin, released from being a slave to evil. In death and resurrection, Jesus fulfilled the prophecy "...He has sent me to bring the good news to the afflicted, to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, release to the prisoners" (Isaiah 61:1)  

God's love is revealed on the cross, and His power is in it's full display in resurrection. God gives us the assurance that none of of our pain and suffering went in vain; resurrection is just not relief from the miseries, rather it is the re-establishment of life according to God's plan. The intense pain and sufferings we endure on the cross enabled us to enjoy the glory and happiness of resurrection, "the old things have passed away; behold, new things have come" (2 Corinthians 5:17).

The all-loving God who died on the cross and the all-powerful God who rose again from the dead is also a very patient God, "I swear I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live" (Ezekiel 33:11). God has no intention of destroying the creation that He "found good". Taking away miseries means taking away the sin. In order for God to eradicate sin from this world, He would have to eradicate sinners. God hate sins, not the sinners; He wants us to abandon our sinful ways allowing Him to eliminate sins without eliminating us. God has the power to eliminate the sins, thus the miseries, but He also has the patience to endure the sufferings so that we would turn away from sins and become fruitful. He is not the rational shepherd who is happy with the ninety nine , He is the loving Shepherd who goes out looking for the lost one. 

When we abandon sin and turn to Him through His only Son Jesus Christ, He will send a new heaven and a new earth upon us. In Revelation 21, we see clearly that human beings are not taken out of here into heaven; it is heaven that comes down  and cleanses this world, purifying and perfecting it. Incarnation and Cross is profound consolation in the face of suffering, and resurrection is powerful hope. Together they promises that we will get the life we most longed for. Endurance and sacrifice will only increase the glory of the new heaven and new earth; Heaven has the power to work backwards and turn every agony into glory, "For the Son of Man will come with his angels in his Father's glory, and then he will repay everyone according to their conduct" (Matthew 16:27).

"Not only that, but we even boast of our afflictions, knowing that afflictions produces endurance, and endurance, proven character, and proven character, hope, and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the holy Spirit that has been given to us" (Romans 5:3-5) 

What medicine did Jesus use in healing the sick?

"Scientists have identified a gene that causes about one in 25,000 babies to be born deaf, and they hope the discovery will lead to new treatments. A protein called CIB2 is mutated in babies born with Usher syndrome type 1, who are profoundly deaf from birth and often cannot be helped by hearing aids." 
I happened to come across this article a couple of days ago and I had to stop and think about it for a moment - first of all, I marveled at the geniuses who made the discovery, then I also thought about the advances in the medical field as a whole. We have come a long way from the government dispensaries of my childhood where every disease was treated with either a red or white colored solution kept in big glass jars. It seems like every time the medicine gets an upper hand on diseases, something new pops up in the air that make the scientists scratch their head again. Then I remembered, "...'Ephphatha!' ("Be opened") And immediately the man's ears were opened, his speech impediment was removed, and he spoke plainly" (Mark 7:34,35). Jesus said "be opened", not "mutated CIB2".

Mutation is defined as a sudden departure from the parent type in one or more heritable characteristics, caused by a gene or a chromosome. Scientists were initially all over mutation. Evolution absolutely depends on mutations, this is the only way that new alleles and new regulatory regions are created. Mutation is the raw material of evolution. But this also seems paradoxical because most of the mutations are harmful, neutral or affect a single protein product while much evolutionary change involves myriad structural and functional changes in the phenotype. (from, Kimball's Biology pages). In short, mutation turned out to be not a good thing after all, it has the power and ability to turn human being into something not so human over a period of time. 

When looking at mutation through a Christian perspective, one can easily conclude that God never intended mutation to occur in humans, "God looked at everything he had made, and he found it very good" (Genesis 1:31). So God made everything including humans and liked the way they looked, therefore no need for Him to change it. If mutation was not in God's plan, then the only alternative is to look at the other side of the coin; could the devil be responsible, does the introduction of sin has anything to do with it? I believe the Medicine Man Himself has the answer for this question, it's in the method He used to heal the sick. "When it was evening, they brought him many who were possessed by demons, and he drove out the spirits by a word and cured all the sick" (Matthew 8:16). Notice that it says "all the sick", not "some of the sick"; when Jesus expelled the demons from those people, they were all healed and the mutations were gone from their body. Through sins, we allowed satan to change our bodily characteristics by implanting mutations through demonic mediums. 

While associating Jesus' healings with casting out demons, often we fail to see the medicine He uses in His 'practice'. "'Which is easier, to say, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Rise and walk'? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins' - he said to the man who was paralyzed, 'I say to you, rise, pick up your stretcher, and go home'" (Luke 5:23,24). Jesus uses FORGIVENESS to heal - to mend the spiritual and the physical wounds of the fallen. When our sins are forgiven, our body and soul are restored back to the divine image in which it was created, "And be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and put on the new self, created in God's way in righteousness and holiness of truth" (Ephesians 4:23,24).

Jesus talked a lot about forgiveness in His teachings because, apart from the original sin which we inherit, the root cause of all other sins can be traced back to anger, resentment and indignation. A minor aggravation, if left alone, can mutate itself to a much bigger aggravation over a period of time, changing the original characteristic of the annoyance, causing the bearer to be in pain, to be suffering and to be sick. In this state of being ill, we would not be able to approach our Creator, God our Father, for help. This is why He sent His only Son to us, to deliver us from our sins, to reconcile us with Him, "He was pierced for our offenses, crushed for our sins, Upon him was the chastisement that makes us whole, by his stripes we were healed" (Isaiah 53:5). Absolute forgiveness to our neighbors - spouses, kids, parents, family, friends, co-workers and enemies - is an absolute necessity for us to offer our sins and sickness to Jesus Christ,"If you bring your offering to the altar, and there recall that your brother has anything against you, leave your offering there at the altar, go first and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and present your offering" (Matthew 5:23,24). 

Our unwillingness to forgive others is keeping us away from reaping the rewards Jesus Christ has earned for us by dying on the cross. Our anger and resentment are keeping Jesus from fulfilling the last spoken words of Him here on earth, "They will pick up serpents with their hands, and if they drink any deadly thing, it will not harm them. They will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover"(Mark 16:18). Our anger and resentment has mutated itself into so many other forms and has a continuous effect on everything we think, every decision we make and everything we do or don't do; I learned it the hard way, and I am still learning it. I learned that the anger and resentment that we immediately identify in our lives is nothing more than the tip of an iceberg, with majority of it under water hidden from our vision.

As human beings, we are not created to be suffering here on earth. He created us in His own image, meaning there were no imperfections or diseases in us at the time of creation. We are the apple of our Creator's eye, we are created to enjoy everything He has created, "Be fertile and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it. Have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and all the living things that move on the earth" (Genesis 1:28). God wanted us to have authority over everything He created, but listen to satan talking to Jesus, "Then he took him up and showed him all the kingdoms of the world in a single instant. The devil said to him, "I shall give to you all this power and their glory; for it has been handed over to me, and I may give it to whomever I wish. All this will be yours, if you worship me" (Luke 4:5-7). We handed over to satan what our Father has created and given to us; through sin, we are allowing him to take over all of our Father's beautiful creations including the most beautiful of them all, ourselves. But Jesus, by paying for our sins with His blood, has already taken everything back from satan. All we need to do is to make a claim for what is rightfully ours, by accepting Jesus Christ as the Savior and Redeemer, by following His teachings, by forgiving others, by repenting, and by spreading the gospel by living it.

"Forgive your neighbor's injustice; then when you pray, your own sins will be forgiven. Should a man nourish anger against his fellows and expect healing from the LORD? Should a man refuse mercy to his fellows, yet seek pardon for his own sins?" (Sirach 28:2-4)

What does it take for Jesus to be amazed?

Can you imagine doing something so amazing that even Jesus Christ will be in awe? Now we all know that, during His life on earth, people were always amazed by Jesus. And they ought to for reasons we all know - no one ever spoke the way He did and no one ever acted the way He did. He always had a crowd following Him, to be amazed by the wondrous deeds. In the midst of all His mighty works - His power over diseases, death, demons and devil, what could anybody do to make Him stop in His path and say "wow"?

There is no mystery about the man who amazed Jesus, it is the Roman centurion, "When Jesus heard this he was amazed at him and, turning, said to the crowd following him, 'I tell you, not even in Israel have I found such faith'" (Luke 7:9). I have always thought what amazed Jesus about the centurion was his faith combined with humility and obedience. It was quiet unusual for a Roman official to display such humility in front of a Jewish man, even if the man was a rabbi with great abilities. But the centurion put aside his pride and decided to ask for help. I have no problem to agree that the centurion had a lot more to lose than many of his contemporary jewish people. But the only reason the centurion had more to lose because he was given a lot more than others, and Jesus knew this. I thought the leper in Luke 5:12-14 had a lot more to lose than the centurion, he was taking a lot more risk by approaching Jesus like that, and how could anyone even come close to the faith of the woman with the hemorrhage in Luke 8:43-48. Both the leper and the woman were risking their lives by approaching Jesus because both of them were untouchables by the Jewish law. Is humility and obedience better than willingness to risk one's life for faith?

One thing I failed to pay attention to, while attempting to 'argue with Jesus', was the nature of the request itself. Both the leper and the woman went great distances because they were desperately seeking help with unbearable personal problems, while the centurion wasn't suffering from any such situation - he was seeking help to heal his slave. Though it is hard to figure out the exact cost of a slave at that particular time, it couldn't have been high enough for the centurion to risk possible rejection by a Jewish Rabbi and the humiliation to follow afterwards. I believe that Jesus was commenting about the unselfishness in the centurion's action - he was willing to take a risk in love for his neighbor which in this case was a mere slave, and Jesus was amazed.

Such a view on the whole incident also confirms something many have known already, the power of intercessory prayer - an unselfish act that amazes Jesus even today because "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever" (Hebrews 13:8). Nowhere in the scripture do we read about the slave himself; we don't know what kind of a person he was - whether he had any faith in Jesus, whether he was God fearing or not. But it didn't matter, all Jesus cared about was the faith of the person making the request. This brings up the importance of praying for others regardless of who they are, what their faith is and without giving any concern to their current state. It is an opportunity to amaze Jesus with our faith and healing for somebody who desperately need one. 

"This is my commandment: love one another as I love you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you." (John 15:12-14)

Free will: What's the point?

Here is something that has been on my mind for sometime: It is written that God has created us with free will, the ability to choose. In order for us to choose, we are also equipped with the ability to think. But the Holy Spirit through St. Paul says, "For by grace you have been saved through faith" (Ephesians 2:8). So as a Christian with an ultimate goal of  salvation of my soul, I need to have faith. "Faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen" (Hebrews 11:1). Clearly, faith doesn't require a whole lot of thinking and there is definitely not a whole lot you could choose from. That is, when I believe that there is a God and this God could save me with His grace, I am believing in someone I cannot see and also believing in something that cannot be proven. It is all good and well, unless I choose to use my ability to think because the whole thing lack a logical explanation as salvation require no human effort. So here is the problem - what good is the ability to think and a free will to choose, if my only path to salvation is a complete trust in God and His ways, I am not left with a much to think about or to choose from, am I?

There used to be a time in my life when a question like this would have been more than enough to keep me away from God. Fortunately with the grace of God, I have overcome that problem. Nowadays I don't doubt my faith, instead I try to understand it; I seek my answers with reverence, and from my limited experience, I know that the answer would be given to me if it is something I should know about. Anyway, what I am trying to say is that the answer for this puzzle came to me today out of the blue, while I wasn't even thinking about it, all I had to do was write it down. 

When God  gave Moses the Ten Commandments, He wanted the people to base their ability to choose on those commandments. The Commandments didn't prevent sins from happening, but it gave the Israelites an awareness, the ability to judge one's own actions to be right or wrong. Thus Israelites were given a shot at salvation by exercising their ability to think, and using their freewill they could choose not to sin. If we look at the ability to think and free will to choose from this angle, it is actually not a bad thing to have after all. 

The only problem was that by the time Moses died, the Israelites had interpreted this ten commandments into over 600 laws, and at the time of Jesus' birth, these laws were over 6,200 pages long. Imagine the burden this put on the life of Israelites trying to make a rational decision on matters of day to day life. St. Paul quoted Deuteronomy 27:26 to fully explain the dilemma, "For all who depend on works of the law are under a curse; for it is written, 'Cursed be everyone who does not persevere in doing all the things written in the book of the law'" (Galatians 3:10). If you choose to follow the Law in order to be saved instead of "grace through faith", then you are bound by the law and "For whoever keeps the whole law, but falls short in one particular, has become guilty in respect to all of it" (James 2:10). 

When we think about free will, we automatically think about the ability to choose one or the other, often one is good and other is evil or one is right and other is wrong. Now most us, while exercising this option to choose, do not purposely choose what is evil or what is wrong. However, we tend to make mistakes while exercising our free will - our err in choosing often causes us to do the wrong thing or the evil thing, to sin. In other words, "The commandment that was for life turned out to be death for me. For sin, seizing an opportunity in the commandment, deceived me and through it put me to death" 
(Roma 7:10,11).

Grace of God is offered to humanity through the spilled blood of Jesus Christ on a cross. For those who have faith to believe that Jesus Christ is the only Son of God and accept Him as the Savior, the grace of God is a free gift. Sins are forgiven upon repentance and confession because Jesus Christ paid the price for our sins with His blood, "He himself bore our sins in his body upon the cross, so that, free from sin, we might live for righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed" (1 Peter 2:24). No such protection is offered to those who choose to live by the Law - if you break a law, be prepared to face the consequences. Thus we have a choice to exercise our free will, not just between good and evil, but also between good and good. 

"Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect" (Romans 12:2)

Whitewashed Tombs

The brother asked a monk, "the Apostle said 'To the pure everything is pure'(Titus 1:15), but how can I deem myself less than a murderer?" The monk said, "When a man has really comprehend this saying, if he sees a man committing a murder he says 'he has only committed this one sin that I know of, but I know myself that I commit many sins every day." (From the sayings of the Desert Fathers) 

All of the descriptions in the gospels about Jesus gives us the picture a leader who is humble and caring, but to much of everybody's dislike He was/is brutally honest too. He openly challenged the scribes and the Pharisees, men who had the power to condemn Him to death. Jesus couldn't stand hypocrisy, the double life that these men were living - while they appeared to be model Jews on the outside, their inside was filled with malice, wickedness and selfishness. They appeared to be noble and model citizens while indulging in impure and indecent desires. 

One of the biggest challenges facing Christians in todays world is hypocrisy. It is quite possible to appear perfectly Christian on the outside – going to Mass, avoiding drunkenness and obviously lewd behavior, saying prayers, while giving in to evil thoughts and entertaining selfish desires on the inside. That kind of divided life cannot endure for long. We can never be satisfied with merely exterior piety, and we can never consider ourselves superior to others just because our sins are less visible. Christ wants us to avoid living a double life, "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites. You are like whitewashed tombs, which appear beautiful on the outside, but inside are full of dead men's bones and every kind of filth" (Matthew 23:27). 

Today's faith communities are filled with people who pretend to have faith (I can attest to it from my own life), they sing and speak the words of faith but do not believe in a God who is real. They worship instead a god of their own imagination, a god who gives them pleasant feelings and makes no demands of them. They are in love with a god who turns a blind eye on all the evil things they do as long as they show up to church on Sundays, as long as they "take care" of god. Hell and purgatory are all meaningless imaginations; their cozy "grandfather in the sky" would never judge them harshly because whatever they did down here on earth was in part to take care of grandpa, to "glorify" him. Sometimes we forget how frequently and explicitly Jesus spoke of evil and sin. Because Christ is so demanding with us, because He tells us directly how much we need to change our lives, we can trust that He has our best welfare in mind. He wants us to be with Him in heaven, so He sternly warns us against everything that could lure us in the opposite direction, even if that meant dying on a cross for saying the truth.

Every religion has exterior appearances like feasts and other extravagant ceremonies, but true faith flows from the heart, the place where we decide for or against our conscience, for or against God’s will. Our friendship with Christ, and the purpose, strength, and vigor that flows out of that friendship, depends on our inner allegiance to Him; looking like pure gold on the outside can never substitute for that. Jesus doesn’t care what we look like to others; He cares about who we really are - what we do when nobody is looking at us.

Do I pay too much attention to appearances, Lord? How you despised hypocrisy! But Lord, I fall into it every day! I say I am your follower, and yet look at some of the things I say, things I do, and things I think! I wonder why I am so unhappy all the time. Is it because I am seeking fulfillment in mere appearances, in social acceptance, in having the right reputation and possessions? Am I being too spent by keeping the  cover over my true self? I find it impossible to resist the thrill of living a lie. You have tried to teach me the futility of that lifestyle. Give me the courage, wisdom, and love to live that lesson, and to pass it on.

"Do nothing out of selfishness or out of vainglory; rather, humbly regard others as more important than yourselves, each looking out not for his own interests, but (also) everyone for those of others. Have among yourselves the same attitude that is also yours in Christ Jesus, Who, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God something to be grasped. Rather, he emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, coming in human likeness; and found human in appearance, he humbled himself, becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross." (Philippians 2:3-8)

P.S.  This posting was inspired in part by an article by Fr. John Bartunek, a blogger on Catholic Spiritual Direction - http://rcspiritualdirection.com/blog/

The Calling of Saint Matthew

Today, the Church celebrates the Feast of St. Matthew, Apostle and Evangelist.  "As Jesus passed on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the customs post. He said to him, 'Follow me'. And he got up and followed him" (Matthew 9:9)

The Calling of Saint Matthew is a masterpiece by Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio, depicting the moment at which Jesus Christ inspires Matthew to follow him. It was completed in 1599-1600 for the Contarelli Chapel in the church of the French congregation, San Luigi dei Francesi in Rome, where it remains today.

The event is depicted here as dramatic, but nearly silent. The tax collector Levi (St.Matthew) is seated at the table with his four assistants, counting the day's proceeds. Jesus, with His halo the only hint of divinity, enters with St. Peter. With a gesture of His right hand, he summons Levi. A surprised Levi points to himself with his left hand as if to say "Who, me?" The armed young man close to Peter is leaning forward as if to question their reason for being there. Peter firmly gestures his right hand as if to say, "Stay out of this, young man. Let my master sort this out with your master".  At the time it was drawn, this painting faced severe criticism because Jesus was not on the center of the drawing, and also because of the contemporary French style costumes of those sitting around the table. 

The dramatic point of the picture is that for this moment, no one does anything. Christ's appearance is so unexpected and His gesture so commanding as to suspend action for a shocked instant, before reaction can take place. In another second, Levi will rise up and follow Christ; in fact, Christ's feet are already turned as if to leave the room. The particular power of the picture is in this cessation of action, the characteristic human indecision after a challenge or command, and before reaction. The costumes reinforce the situation. Levi and his subordinates, who are involved in affairs of this world, are dressed in a contemporary mode, while the barefoot Christ and Saint Peter, who summon Levi to another life and world, appear in timeless cloaks. The two groups are also separated by a void, connected literally and symbolically by Christ's hand.

The painting has so much meaning because it allows each one of us to be in the center of it, with Jesus standing on the side with His Church calling us to leave the earthly matters and to follow Him, to follow what really matters. Jesus doesn't care who we are or what we do,  "I didn't come to call the righteous but sinners" (Matthew 9:13). The two figures on the left do not even notice Christ's arrival; they are too much into this world's affairs and their inattention deprives them the opportunity Christ offers for eternal life. What would our reaction be, if it was us sitting around that table? Levi never looked back once he got up answering the call. 

"No one who sets a hand to the plow and looks to what was left behind is fit for the kingdom of God" (Luke 9:62)